Fidelity 1, Six Flags Public Relations Department 0

It seems like it was just yesterday when Six Flags' PR department was assuring Zero Hedge and its readers of just how fabulous things were at the Six Flags (SIX) theme park better known as the juvi delinquents cigarette break hang out (and the only place in the world where you can buy small cups of Diet Coke for the Bernanke wet dream price of $9.95). Maybe if the theme park was monitoring its operations with the same mad skills as it was overseeing any potentially adverse PR, the company would not have had to file for bankruptcy (about which Zero Hedge was warning as recently as January 15)... Which it did today much to Fidelity's amusement.

Six Flags said it filed for Chapter 11 protection with the unanimous support of its lenders' steering committee.

The plan will result in a deleveraging of the company's balance sheet by about $1.8 billion, as well as the elimination of more than $300 million in preferred stock obligations.

"The current management team inherited a $2.4 billion debt load that cannot be sustained, particularly in these challenging financial markets," Mark Shapiro, the chief executive of Six Flags, said in a news release.

Great work Mark: taking a cue from the admin and placing the blame squarely on the previous management.

In addition to Dan Snyder who acquired the company in a proxy fight several years ago, other major equity wipe outs include Bill Gates and Jim Simons, whose Cascade Investments and RenTec funds, own 11.1% and 5.5% of the already worthless stock (page 5 of the Voluntary Petition below). We highly doubt this event will dent the latter's relationship with its PBs JPM and DB as they continue aspiring to new heights in purchasing every imaginable share of SPY and IWM available.

Comments

[JPPennypacker:]

Sorry to see Six Flags had to file for bankruptcy.

I wonder if restructuring firm HLHZ would consider offering their services to Six Flags in exhange for some sort of unlimited lifetime ride pass at the New Six Flags someday.

I'm curious if any of the properties would be put up for sale. I would expect Disney or Cedar Fair might be interested or maybe Mr. Bill Gates could have his very own theme park. Reminds me of the episode of South Park with the CartmanLand amusement park. Thanks Tyler for your informative update on Six Flags.

Jun 13 04:40 PM

[yellowhoard:]

You sure nailed it Tyler. Six Flags has, for years now, become the red neck destination of choice. I blame it on their seasons passes.

For about $60 you can buy your little hellraiser a seasons pass. The pass is infinitely cheaper than daycare or a baby sitter.

So, when you go, there are gangs of roaming hillbillies, wandering about with greasy turkey legs and stained wife beater t-shirts.

The place smells like a combination of piss, vomit and weed.

Jun 13 04:51 PM

[WMBANZAI7:]

BANZAI7 NEWS--Six Flags, the big theme park operator, filed for bankruptcy in early Saturday morning in Delaware after failing to reach an agreement with lenders over a plan to reorganize its debt outside of court.

Six Flags's proposed a reorganization plan that includes exciting new attractions with timely financial services themes including:

HANK AND BEN'S SUBPRIME FRIGHT NIGHT COASTER

HANK AND BEN'S SUBPRIME FRIGHT NIGHT COASTER will transform guests into seedy citizens of Wall Street, where they find themselves caught in the middle of a city under siege and torn apart by Alan Greenspan the fractional reserve Riddler and Milton Friedman, the cruel free market Joker. Venturing through demented hallways of twisted derivative trades, oblique policy turns and hallucinatory correlations, riders speed through six 180-degree DJIA hairpin's, climb unseen hills of toxic assets, plunge into pitch balance sheet darkness and dip into unforeseen "Black Swan" like outlier dangers.

VIKRAM BANDIT'S BIG SPIN

Vikram Bandit's Big Spin — A Gerstlauer PR spinning coaster, "this unique public relations spinning coaster gives riders the opportunity to defy the laws of financial services gravity just like Vikram Bandit, the memo bloviating legend himself. With random and unpredictable verbal twists and techno-babbling spins at each market dip and turn, this CITI bailout sponsored coaster offers a unique ride experience for all stakeholders every time."

LLOYD BLANKFEIN'S WIGGLE OUT WORLD

"BLANKFEIN'S Wiggle Out World is designed to leverage and wiggle Goldman Sach's out of a hair raising squeeze using its world-wide recognition and status among financial regulators and policy makers ages 2-6, featuring rides, shows and attractions the entire United States Financial Services regulatory family can enjoy. The new area will include specially themed Goldman Wiggle out rides, including Hank Paulsens's Big Bailout Car and Steve Friedman's Big Red Escape Plane rides, as well as a new Timmy G Toxic Turd retail location and a Larry Sommers Yummy Dummy Investor Cafe. In addition, The Goldman Wiggles are scheduled to appear at the park on a to-be-announced date in 2009. The Great Wall Street Escape also will debut a thrilling new waterslide, Wild AIG Wedgie, in its Subprime Derivative Splashwater Kingdom water park."

ALAN THE MAESTRO'S INVERTED YIELD COASTER

Maestro's Ultimate Inverted Yield Curve Coaster — "Adding a powerful new dimension of twisted monetary thrill's to an already irrationally exuberant coaster line-up, Maestro IYC will feature a unique radiating blue steel track and high-speed yellow and blue trains that suspend riders from short and long term coaster tracks. Once aboard the suspended 28-passenger interest rate trains, the bottom drops out from beneath the riders and they soar out of the real estate asset bubble station four abreast to experience spine-tingling gravitational market forces and the sensation of racing totally unregulated at 80 mph with nothing beneath their 401k feet but cloudy sky."

GLOW IN THE DARK TOXIC ASSET PARADE

Glow in the Dark Toxic Asset Parade at Six Flags Great Subprime Adventure "Six Flags is taking the asset backed security parade concept to new subprime levels as bull market drummers, shyster bankers, political puppeteers, psychotic quants, crooked mortgage brokers, unscrupulous real estate brokers, and kinetic regulatory stilt walkers bring the park streets to life with an unparalleled nighttime financial fantasyland of interest only mortgages, riskless securities, pay option loans, no document loans, VAR fantasy lights and bear trade commotion. Glow in the Park Toxic Asset Parade features the latest quantitative finance technology, state-of-the-art collateralized debt floats and special credit enhancement effects with thousands of sparkling rating agency lights adorning every element of this uniquely themed toxic asset parade."

BERNIE THE PONZI ENGINEER

Bernie the Ponzi Engineer — This attraction entertains sophisticatedly naive investors of all ages, offering wealthy retiree's, brainless asset managers and SEC enforcement attorneys a ponziesque train ride through Bernie's mythical trading room on the French Riviera Island of Absolute Returns, Bernie-themed play areas, and appearances by Clown Commissioner Christopher Cox, Controller of the SEC's ponzi sanctioned Railway, who will pose for photos and greet visiting investors. A Bernie & Friends store located within the areas will feature an assortment of pre-owned Palm Beach merchandise.

DICK FULD'S ROOM FULL OF SMOKE & MIRRORS

Dick Fuld's Room Full of Smoke & Mirrors takes the financial smoke and mirror funhouse concept to the absolute last minute. Packed full of opaque accounting tricks, toxic asset hazards, valuation illusions, securitisation fakirs, shifty Korean and Arab investors, short selling bogeymen chasing bikini clad CFO's and a Mega subprime CDS ticking time bomb, Dick Fuld's Room Full of Mirror's will leave spectators young and old totally unbailed.

HANK GREENBERG'S HOUSE OF AIG HORRORS

Perhaps the scariest attraction ever created, Hank Greenberg's House of AIG horrors will not be beat. Packed full of all manner of subprime ghouls, vampire toxic asset salesmen, financial skeletons, CEO ghosts, litigous zombies, blood thirsty regulators and Goldman Sachs derivative traders, Hank will make sure your NAV will never see the light of bailout day. Sandy Weil says: "I thought I had the systemic house of horrors racket cornered, but Hank Greenberg beat me to the bailout punch."

Jun 13 08:29 PM

[notsosmart:]

& made-off will be the tv spokesman.

Jun 14 12:37 PM