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Compliments of j-dub

  • GM chapter 11 = PRICED IN
  • 125K+ jobs lost from GM chapter 11 = PRICED IN
  • unemployment @ 9% = BETTER THAN EXPECTED
  • unemployment @ 10% = DOW SOARS
  • unemployment @ 11% = GREEN SHOOT RALLY
  • unemployment @ 12% = ALREADY FACTORED IN
  • unemployment = 35% = DOW DROPS 100 POINTS
  • housing price =1% = RECESSION ENDING
  • housing collapses = GREEN SHOOT
  • Housing falls 20% = STABILIZATION
  • Government spends 1 trillion of OUR dollars = STIMULUS
  • North Korea fires nuke = RALLY
  • Israel bombs Iran = 30 MINUTE END OF DAY RALLY
  • world explodes = ASIA RALLIES
  • PMI crashes = HUGE RALLY
  • No jobs are created = RECESSION ALMOST OVER
  • U.S. debt overwhelming = TOO BUSY RALLYING TO CARE
  • Consumer stops spending = RETAIL RALLY
  • Banks are insolvent = SIGNS OF STABILIZATION
  • American auto industry BK = GOOD THING
  • Banks pass scam stress tests = HUUUUUUUUGE RALLY
  • Banks "only need 75 billion = OUT OF THE WOODS
  • Banks pass a real stress test = NEVER WOULD HAPPEN
  • Banks pay back tarp = LATE DAY SURGE
  • Banks can't pay back TARP = EARLY MORNING SURGE
  • 12% mortgage delinquency = GOOD FOR STOCKS
  • Hundreds of thousands of mortgages underwater = HOUSING BOTTOMED
  • Dollar rises = RALLY
  • Dollar crashes = RALLY
  • Inflation = BULL MARKET
  • Deflation = BULL MARKET CONTINUES
  • REFLATION = MASSIVE SHORT COVERING RALLY
  • Gold rises = STOCKS RALLY
  • Gold falls STOCKS RALLY BIG
  • Banks' fake earnings = SIGNS OF STABILIZATION
  • CRE stabilizing= 1000 POINT RALLY
  • CRE CRASHING = STOCKS SHAKE IT OFF TO RALLY
  • CONSUMER INSOVENT = CONSUMER IS SPENDING
  • OIL @ 50 = BULL RALLY
  • OIL @ 60 = GREEN SHOOT
  • OIL @ 100 = IMPORTANT RECOVERY SIGN
  • OIL @ 20 = TAX BREAK


And the one we should all interpret correctly:

  • NO ONE IS BUYING STOCKS = BILLIONS ON THE SIDELINES
Source: What They Say / What It Means: New Market Reality Edition