Compliments of j-dub
- GM chapter 11 = PRICED IN
- 125K+ jobs lost from GM chapter 11 = PRICED IN
- unemployment @ 9% = BETTER THAN EXPECTED
- unemployment @ 10% = DOW SOARS
- unemployment @ 11% = GREEN SHOOT RALLY
- unemployment @ 12% = ALREADY FACTORED IN
- unemployment = 35% = DOW DROPS 100 POINTS
- housing price =1% = RECESSION ENDING
- housing collapses = GREEN SHOOT
- Housing falls 20% = STABILIZATION
- Government spends 1 trillion of OUR dollars = STIMULUS
- North Korea fires nuke = RALLY
- Israel bombs Iran = 30 MINUTE END OF DAY RALLY
- world explodes = ASIA RALLIES
- PMI crashes = HUGE RALLY
- No jobs are created = RECESSION ALMOST OVER
- U.S. debt overwhelming = TOO BUSY RALLYING TO CARE
- Consumer stops spending = RETAIL RALLY
- Banks are insolvent = SIGNS OF STABILIZATION
- American auto industry BK = GOOD THING
- Banks pass scam stress tests = HUUUUUUUUGE RALLY
- Banks "only need 75 billion = OUT OF THE WOODS
- Banks pass a real stress test = NEVER WOULD HAPPEN
- Banks pay back tarp = LATE DAY SURGE
- Banks can't pay back TARP = EARLY MORNING SURGE
- 12% mortgage delinquency = GOOD FOR STOCKS
- Hundreds of thousands of mortgages underwater = HOUSING BOTTOMED
- Dollar rises = RALLY
- Dollar crashes = RALLY
- Inflation = BULL MARKET
- Deflation = BULL MARKET CONTINUES
- REFLATION = MASSIVE SHORT COVERING RALLY
- Gold rises = STOCKS RALLY
- Gold falls STOCKS RALLY BIG
- Banks' fake earnings = SIGNS OF STABILIZATION
- CRE stabilizing= 1000 POINT RALLY
- CRE CRASHING = STOCKS SHAKE IT OFF TO RALLY
- CONSUMER INSOVENT = CONSUMER IS SPENDING
- OIL @ 50 = BULL RALLY
- OIL @ 60 = GREEN SHOOT
- OIL @ 100 = IMPORTANT RECOVERY SIGN
- OIL @ 20 = TAX BREAK
And the one we should all interpret correctly:
- NO ONE IS BUYING STOCKS = BILLIONS ON THE SIDELINES
