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Good citizens and taxpayers of America... we thank you for your service with your implicit (and, when need be, explicit) backstop of our speculation. Your service to our corporatism is welcome. Remember, Main Street = Wall Street. One day we hope our fearless leader shall be able to lead you as the US Secretary of the Treasury. [Jul 21, 2009: NYT - In Washinton, JPMorgan's Dimon Increasing Sway] You should only be so lucky. In the meantime, please continue on with your worker drone ways, and may I suggest opening an account with Chase?

P.S. has anyone seen Paul Volcker? No? Good.

Yours in Speculation & Oligarchy,

The Folks at the World's Largest Hedge Fund Your Friendly Neighborhood Bank

Via Bloomberg:

  • JPMorgan Chase & Co., the New York- based bank run by Jamie Dimon, is the world’s biggest hedge-fund firm by assets, according to Pensions & Investments magazine. JPMorgan, which owns Highbridge Capital Management LLC, managed $53.5 billion at the end of last year, according to a survey by the magazine published on its Web site. Highbridge oversaw $32.5 billion while the bank’s JPMorgan Asset Management unit had $21 billion in hedge-fund assets.

Largest Hedge-Fund Managers

(Ranked by assets as of Dec. 31, 2009)

Firm Assets (billions)

JPMorgan Chase $53.5

Bridgewater Associates $43.6

Paulson & Co. $32

Brevan Howard $27

Soros Fund Management $27

Man Group $25.3

Och-Ziff Capital (OZM) $23.1

D.E. Shaw* $23

BlackRock/Barclays Global $21

Farallon Capital $20.7

Baupost Group** $20

Goldman Sachs Asset $17.8

BlueCrest Capital $17.3

Canyon Partners $17

Landsdowne Partners* $15

Renaissance Technologies $15

Fortress Investment (FIG) $13.8

Moore Capital $12.4

Viking Global* $12.4

Citadel Investment $12.2

SAC Capital $12

GLG Partners (GLG) $11.5

Tudor Investment $10

Source: Pension & Investments magazine.

*As of Jan. 1, 2010

Source: Hedge Funds and the U.S. Taxpayer