"This is why I'm hot, This is why I'm hot, this is why this is why this is why I'm hot" -MIMS
Did you get shares of YOKU (+$20.64, 161.25%) on the IPO? Yeah baby - that's right - I'm talking about the Chinese Netflix. Price? Who cares. Did you hear me? I SAID CHINESE MUTHERF'ING NETFLIX! How about DANG (+$13.91, 86.94%)? As my boy JC likes to say, "Do I have your attention yet?"
I inquired about a month ago: "If someone wrote a post about Fed buying gold in QE3 using HFT in an effort to fund Obamacare, would it blow up the internet?" Well, yesterday, China tried to blow up our stock markets with two IPOs that are way too hot to handle.
Youku.com (NYSE:YOKU) is "the Chinese NFLX/HULU/YouTube" (Stop! Too sexy! you had me at Netflix! Adding HULU and YouTube is just overkill) and China Dangdang (NYSE:DANG) is "the Chinese Amazon.com."
(Side note: It's not every day that you get the perfect opportunity to embed one of the greatest one-hit wonders of all time: Right Said Fred's "Too Sexy." These Chinese Buzzword IPOs are, beyond the shadow of a doubt, too sexy. Without further ado:)
(note the lyrics: "I'm too sexy for Milan, New York and Japan," but clearly not too sexy for China!)
Hot mama. The Chinese Amazon.com? Where do I sign up? Can I get stuff shipped from Shenzehn via DANG Prime in 2 days? You have to appreciate the irony of the stock ticker DANG. I feel like they would have taken HOLYSH1T if it were possible, or maybe HOTDAMN or ONFIRE. Sadly, they're limited to 4 characters (until they declare bankruptcy at least, then they might get a Q appended to the end!), and had to settle for the ticker that says it all: DANG! Their Google Finance page shows the company name as: E-Commerce China Dangdang Inc. Seriously - it's almost like a joke: start with the buzzword "E-commerce", add "China" and then append an exclamation at the end. Repeat the exclamation for good measure. Result: E-commerce China Dangdang. Awesome stuff.
If DANG and YOKU aren't "too hot in the hot tub," I don't know what is (by the way, if you've never seen this video, it's Eddie Murphy as James Brown from the heydays of SNL - all time great):
I mean, how could it get any hotter? They'd have to be a silver miner using social networking and deal-of-the-day marketing to deliver their goods via online streaming media. E-commerce. Cloud Computing. Palladium. I'm out of random buzzwords to tack on to the end. I guess if they made a double-long ETF out of this, it could get hotter.
I did appreciate the warning at the end of the Forbes article on these sizzlers:
“You will get the bad with the good,” warns Bard, but as long as the market can tell the difference between the China’s Amazon and China’s Pets.com things shouldn’t get too overheated."
If only it were that easy...