From the “you have only a few more days to kick me around” department: I’ve written here previously about the uptick rule and whether it is the cause of all that ills the financial world, er, the stock market.

I won’t sit here and argue whether it should be reinstated. The markets have clearly become more volatile, and some stocks, like Bear Stearns (BSC), have been obliterated.

When I was sitting there in the little studio I use in San Diego, doing Larry Kudlow’s show on CNBC, all that kept going through my mind was Ethel Merman singing, “Ev-uh-rything’s com-ing up ro-ses…”

The high point, for me, was when Don Luskin, frustrated with my use of the word “maybe,” asked me what I really think will happen in the future, and I told him something like, “Unlike you, Don, I wasn’t blessed with the gift of a crystal ball.”

3M (MMM) provides an interesting window into the economy and the market. The first quarter was strong, but much of that was helped by the weak dollar and U.S. organic growth slipped by nearly 3%.

Furthermore, the company said the second half will likely be weak. And this is from a company that serves airlines, banking, brokers and offices — in other words, a good swatch of this economy. A rising dollar, if it continues, won’t help. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

I’m beginning to wonder if it’s time to start feeling sorry for Patrick Byrne, the Overstock (OSTK) CEO whose comments at times, such as Tuesday's, appear to be detached from any sense of reality.

Speaking on the Fox Business Channel to my friend Liz Claman, he said:

I’ve been a big fan of Starbucks (SBUX) stock, saying to anybody who will listen that if I were allowed to buy a stock and put it on the shelf for a few years — buying more as it falls — Starbucks would certainly be one that I would consider.

Among the reasons: It’s a strong brand (and I like brands), Howard Schultz has his reputation at stake, coffee ain’t going out of style, McDonald’s (MCD) is limited as a competitor in terms of its coffee offerings and if ever there were a time to do a turnaround, it’s now — during a horrible economy — when the business would have done poorly, regardless. (And I didn’t even mention China.)

Texas Instruments (TXN) has done an impressive job paring its holding of auction-rate securities, slicing its holdings by $473 million, or nearly half. The remaining $551 million has been reclassified as long-term investments “due to reduced liquidity for these securities,” the company said in its first quarter earnings report.

If nothing else, TI’s disclosure shows just how dire the auction-rate market has become. As I noted back in February, TI was among the tech companies Merrill Lynch (MER) cited as having an unusually high amount of cash in what it thought could be credit-crunch-related risky investments.

I was a guest on CNBC’s Kudlow & Co. on Wednesday night. It’s always fun to be on the other side of Larry, who for some reason actually agreed with me and the other realist, Moneynews.com’s John Browne, on a number of points.

Usually I have an idea about the night’s topics so I can do a little research ahead of time. This night was no different, with one exception: I wasn’t expecting Larry to do a chart that showed how mortgage resets were about to fall off a cliff, suggesting happy days will soon be here again.

From the “for what it’s worth” department: Very curious announcement on the front of Hansen Natural’s (HANS) website:

Counterfeit Check Scam Notice

Hansen Beverage Company has recently been made aware of a sweepstakes scam involving counterfeit Hansen Beverage company checks. If you have recently received a check and/or a letter from Epical Worldwide Lotto, Atlantic Financiers, United Random Draws, ATM Mega Promotions, Acme Financial Management, Computer Reward Program (C.R.P) Interac Universal and/or B + B Financial Inc. claiming that you have won a prize: PLEASE CONTACT US IMMEDIATE

When Jim Keyes was hired as CEO of Blockbuster (BBI), it seemed to make sense. The former 7-11 exec knows the convenience industry, which would seem to help convert Blockbuster’s brick-and-mortar business into something that works.

But trying to buy Circuit City (CC)? What’s he thinking? A presentation by the company makes it look so simple: What Circuit City doesn’t have (rental, retail and subscription) Blockbuster does — and vice-versa. The closest Blockbuster has gotten to anything related to Circuit City, with the exception of selling DVDs, is also selling gaming platforms, like the Nintendo (NTDOY.PK) Wii.

The Wall Street Journal Friday morning reported that Lehman Brothers (LEH) in recent weeks moved $2.8 billion in loans — including some risky leveraged buyout deals — into a newly created collateralized loan obligation. And (think old Shake ‘n Bake commercials) the Fed helped! So did the credit ratings agencies, which gave the new vehicle, dubbed “Freedom,” investment-grade credit ratings. The deal, in turn, gives Lehman cash.

With its announced acquisition by EMC (EMC) for less than $4 a share, we close the books on Iomega (IOM), one of the great — no, make that the The Original — Internet tug-o-war/message board stocks.

It seems much longer than 12 years ago that the battle over Iomega reached its crescendo as its stock peaked at close to $140 a share on the success of its Zip drive, a technological but especially marketing marvel. A portable hard drive — imagine that!

Interesting piece interview with Alan Greenspan in today’s Wall Street Journal by Greg Ip. Two things (yes — only two!) struck me as particularly interesting.

The first had to deal with Greenspan’s reaction to criticism of his low-rate policy by Stanford University economist John Taylor, who believed rates were too low for too long. According to the interview:

As the saga continues, the plot thickens: The blame-it-on-the-shorts bandwagon got quite a push last week, but this battle cry is likely to go the way of all others if Roddy Boyd’s attempt in the current Fortune to put together the pieces of the puzzle is anywhere near close to what really happened.

If it is, it would appear the shorts, yet again, were reacting to market events — not causing them.

The weakening of Lululemon’s (LULU) stock yesterday, after a strong start based on what appeared to be blowout numbers, shouldn’t be surprising. The 2 cent per share “beat” wasn’t a beat, after all — at least not after taking into account a lower-than-expected tax rate and about one million fewer shares than the prior quarter, which both added about 2 cents. The strong Canadian dollar also provided a pop. Then there margins, which were lower than expected, and the announced departure in several months of CEO Bob Meers, who is no stranger to readers.

But rather than dwell on the stuff many of you already know — or would prefer to ignore — let’s go straight to Lucy vs. Lulu battle, which has been largely overlooked.

To yours truly, the most interesting part of the Bernanke testimony was his comment about how the Bear Stearns (BSC) deal had to be done before the Asian markets opened. If nothing else, he pretty much confirmed what we already knew: The dog (as in the market) is wagging the tail (as in the economy,) so the Fed fears the market more than the economy.

Which comes first: the markets or the economy? The Fed, no doubt, wasn’t about to take the time to find out.

The latest buzz is that the shorts conspired to drive down the stock of Lehman Brothers (LEH). A story in today’s Wall Street Journal today says the company has met with the SEC trying to track down rumors of its imminent (before Monday'’s $3 billion preferred share sale) demise.

Of course, a few weeks ago you cold have replaced the name Lehman with Bear Stearns. As I wrote in my latest column on MarketWatch and in the Journal:

Bizarre timing of the announcement today that Warren Jenson will leave Electronic Arts (ERTS) as chief financial officer, considering that the company is in the midst of trying to do a hostile takeover of Take-Two (TTWO).

Electronic Arts gave no reason for his departure, but this much is clear: It doesn’t speak well for the acquisition strategy.

In my Big Whoosh, Part 2 item from Sunday, I said Monday’s trading will hold the clue to how bad the eighth and ninth innings of this financial crisis will be.

Well… Monday’s rise followed by Tuesday’s rally and yesterday's trounce can only mean one thing: When the free market capitalist system works the way it’s supposed to, which isn’t always the way free market capitalists want it to, the free market capitalists freak out and sing “Rescue Me” to the very government they say should never intervene.

While everybody points out how well the Visa (V) deal is doing, they seem to be missing one point — and it’s a point my colleague, David Weidner, appears to have been alone in having pointed out in a recent piece: The trend is not currently Visa’s friend. (At least not based on its most recent SEC filings.)

Bob Pisani and I went back-and-forth on this while on CNBC’s Power Lunch today. His point was that Visa officials are saying that more people are using plastic for ease, not because they’re going deeper into hock, which is good for a company like Visa, which makes money by processing transactions.

Pacific Ethanol (PEIX) gave no information a week ago when it said it would be delaying the report of its fourth quarter and the release of its annual 10-K. When I called the company for more detail while working on my ethanol piece for the Wall Street Journal and MarketWatch, I was told there would be more information Tuesday.

And, boy, was there.