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JC Penney Associate
  • JC Penney Schadenfreude Sale 0 comments
    Jun 7, 2012 4:30 PM | about stocks: JCP, AAPL

    The last paycheck arrives on Friday,
    I'll be in New Orleans investing it.

    Monday's the day,
    I sign on the line
    To receive my JC Penney Valentine,
    Severance pay for all the good times.

    And, with time served,
    I'm a Gold Card Retiree!

    Since flying to Plano
    To take over JC Penney
    On his Gulfstream/G5
    Ron Johnson has proven to be
    The ultimate Black Swan

    He cut the dividend.
    And JC Penney bonds
    Are now officially JUNK

    Now he's having five promotional "events":
    Memorial Day; Back to School; Black Friday;
    Christmas; Kwanza; and Chanukah.
    Total: Six. Confused?
    What are the customers thinking!

    After months of educating JCP customers
    That there is no such thing as a "sale",
    RonJohn has thrown in the towel
    And uttered the word: "See below"

    If "sales" do fail
    BlackSwan RonJohn
    The "Genius" of retail
    Has but two gimmicks left
    Coupons and Chapter 11

    JC Penney's Ron Johnson Capitulates, Uses Word "Sale"

    Disclosure: I have no positions in any stocks mentioned, and no plans to initiate any positions within the next 72 hours.

    Stocks: JCP, AAPL
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