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James Quinn
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James Quinn is a senior director of strategic planning for a major university. James has held financial positions with a retailer, homebuilder and university in his 25-year career. Those positions included treasurer, controller, and head of strategic planning. He is married with three boys and... More
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    Jul 15, 2010 2:23 PM

    When I saw the story last night that Dick Cheney was recovering from heart surgery, my first thought was “That motherfucker actually has a heart?” I guess I was wrong he does have a heart.

    His heart was just 3 sizes too small. It is even hard to see on x-rays.

    They actually had to install a new heart valve to keep it ticking. He will do anything to keep from taking his rightful place in Hades. Since no one was willing to donate the valve for his surgery, he snuck into the house of Cindy Lou Hoo who was barely two. He convinced her to leave the house and go out into a field.

    Then he called in a predator drone who fired a few missiles and took care of little Cindy Lou Hoo. They were able to extract the valve from her tiny little heart and it was a perfect match for old Dick. Cheney referred to the now deceased Cindy Lou Hoo as collateral damage.




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  • John Lounsbury
    , contributor
    Comments (4050) | Send Message
    Jim - - -


    What a heartless essay!
    15 Jul 2010, 02:34 PM Reply Like
  • James Quinn
    , contributor
    Comments (1015) | Send Message
    Author’s reply » I started out planning on just being funny, but I didn't want to disappoint the neo-cons out there.
    15 Jul 2010, 02:41 PM Reply Like
  • John Lounsbury
    , contributor
    Comments (4050) | Send Message
    Jim - - -


    Here is some more sarcasm regarding Cheney's heart surgery (although a lot meeker than yours): www.thedailybeast.com/...;


    One particluar quote (actually a sidebar): "Cheney’s miraculous longevity is… exhibit A in the argument for intrusive and overarching government programs to ensure the public’s health."


    The article points out that Cheney has received more than $500,000 in heart treatments. He is apparently now a transplant candidate. Will he soon be the million dollar man?
    16 Jul 2010, 11:31 PM Reply Like
  • James Quinn
    , contributor
    Comments (1015) | Send Message
    Author’s reply » I'd love to see them trasplant the heart of a Muslim into that motherfucker.
    17 Jul 2010, 06:10 AM Reply Like
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