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Congress Gang Bangs Lady Liberty

In a truly bipartisan gesture of unity today, Congress passed the National Defense Authorization Act and celebrated by stripping the Statue Of Liberty naked, hawking her expensive copper gown, and screwing her sexy orifices.

John McCain spoke for everyone when he said, "I've had my eye on that freedom loving slut ever since I made it to DC. We're gonna make her squeal like a pig! Ain't that right Lindsey?"

The Senator from South Carolina, however did not respond as he was balls deep in Liberty's anus. 

A more sober Harry Reid said that "it's not so much about defiling liberty and all that fun stuff, it's about having the ability to throw people in prison, without a trial, that don't agree with you and your banking pals, that find Republics get in the damn way of proper looting."

Senator Schumer offered this consolation to those that were offended by this insane power grab by noting that "raping lady liberty isn't so bad when it's compared to the halting of freedom of speech that's coming soon. We've got the internet kill switch all ready to go and we proved a couple weeks ago that we can take over all the broadcast outlets whenever we feel like it."

Speaker of the House Boehner was all smiles. "I've fucked liberty and America at the same time! Call me Boner! Call me Boner! Cause I'm gonna fuck each and every one of you!" He seemed a little drunk.