Boot's  Instablog

The follow-on story to the Goldman Sachs stolen market software should be interesting.  Fair and balanced talking heads will report on the finding of the Investigating Senate Sub-Committee.

Senior correspondent for Senate affairs Johnny -on-the-spot interviews Senator Richard Cialis. Senator, what actions are being taken over the theft of the commodity trading software from the Goldman Sachs?

"Well, Johnny, upon the recommendation of the sub-committee for fair trading and the large bank consortium lobby, we recommend further investigation. Additionally and most importantly we have created the sub-committee to the sub-committee for the tabling of large bank fact-finding investigations.  In the mean time we recommend a paltry 1 trillion dollar stimulus package for the poor, beleaguered banks, which have suffered from the theft of their legal and patented trading software.  It has not escaped the attention of the sub-committee that there has been untold loss and emotional suffering."    Thank you Senator.  

Johnny, this is senior anchor Bob Savvy, what does GS have to say about these trying times? Well Savvy, interesting that you ask.  I just spoke with various GS leadership last night.  I managed to get this.

Senior GS VP of Public Affairs goes on record as stating, ‘for the superb leadership during recent hardships, we plan using a majority of the allocated money for additional bonuses for the BOD and senior management where the rubber really meets the road...’

 Savvy, I also spoke to GS assistant CFO last night; he was also at our "function."

‘Prudent banking and trading practices will be maintained in-spite of the loss of their proprietary Market Skimming Software,  (TM). Things just got a lot tougher. Leaving our gold and silver holdings at these levels simply isn't prudent while the general public has access to our patented intellectual property.  Backing our various ETFs with actual commodities isn't something we've really had to deal with.’

Senator Cialis do have any final comments?

‘Why yes, the sub-committee was unofficially assured that any left over funds will reconstitute the banks greatly diminished bullion supplies, reportedly they were stretched thin after retiring BOD and senior management demanded bullion for the gilding their respective parachutes.  Any remaining money will pay for lobbying costs and other ensundry budget dust.’

Pictures ratifying these 11th hour bills and other pork barrel items will be carried on all major networks during non-peak hours after late night infomercials.

 This has been Johnny-on-the spot, reporting from the Senate Steps, back to you Bob.