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Guns, Gold, Ammo, Hoorah!!!

|Includes:GBS, SPDR Gold Trust ETF (GLD), GOLD

Imagine a world in which those holding the most guns, gold, and ammunition rule the day...  For most, the mental image of a post-modern dark age is so revolting they consider the idea lunacy.  But an ever increasingly vociferous crowd birthed from the Great Recession seems to be eagerly awaiting the days when firepower and tangible wealth equate to evolutionary fitness.

These "lunatics" would argue that wanton ignorance to the increasing possibility of total economic, political, and structural collapse of our capitalist society justifies a starving naysayer's date with a lead shower while foraging in hoarder's yard.  Taking a moment to fully accept the reality of a "guns, gold, and ammo" world, though, reveals more than one significant dilemma.

First, after hoarding massive quantities of bullets, arms, and shiny metal purchasing power, I would have to decide where the murder cut-off lies.  Surely, I cannot show mercy to ALL of my hungry friends... There are way too many of them.  What if a group of friends all come begging at once, and some of them just start grabbing things?  Once one friend takes something, you know they will all start doing it.  I guess I will have to go ahead nip that in the bud.

I have a lot of extended family, too.  What is the sense of hoarding all of this if they are going to show up and try to eat it?  I may have to prove to the rest of those grasshoppers that this hard-working ant aint kidding when he says, "Put that carrot back in the ground where you found it, Aunt Cindy!  Goddamn, it aint even ready to pick yet!"  Maybe I will make examples out of grandma and grandpa first, since they are sure enough almost dead already.  Better yet, I could take out my mother-in-law!  I have been trying to get her to mind her own business for 15 years anyway!

Second, in a world of anarchy, where the urban masses flood into rural areas in search of sustenance once looting has stripped the low hanging market fruits bare, I imagine I will need a fair amount of ammunition to commit murder over and over again, until I am either overtaken or left alone.  Do I waste good ammo on warning shots?  Clearly, not.  Though, I imagine that after enough years I will eventually run out of food too.  Good thing I got my gold!... But wait...

When my family is starving to death, how much is a bag of rice worth?  There are two options undeniably clear to both buyer and seller, 1) I must commit murder and take what I need to survive, assuming the one holding the food is a worse shot than myself, or 2) I pay whatever they ask without a second thought. 

Suddenly, peak gold does not have the buying power a hoarder such as myself might have expected, but that is just as suddenly the least of my concerns.

Third, at some point I am going to have to sleep.  But once people saw that my cheeks were only half as sunken as theirs, a fair number have been waiting to rush my place from just outside my scope view.  I can't see them, but I know they're out there watching and waiting, waiting and watching.  I thought that barbed wire was a good idea at the time, but I might as well have hung a neon sign out that said, "Giant Food Stash Inside- Just Cut Here!"  Damn, I really wish I had sprung for the bazooka and land mines when I had the chance!  As soon as I fall asleep, a yellow school bus full of hungry zombies is going to come crashing through my wall, I just know it!  My wife keeps telling me to relax, but how can I relax when I know they're out there and I haven't slept in years, and all those bodies really smell, and I only grazed my mother-in-law so now she really won't shut up, and... wait... did you hear that?.... shhhhh... school bus!... Did you hear it?...

Acknowledging the facts, thinking the harsh reality through, I have to wonder who the greater fool really is in a world turned upside down.  God forbid I become a murderous animal in a world filled with suffering and starvation.  Maybe I'm crazy, but taking a lead shower in your Guns, Gold, and Ammo world is probably the most righteous path I can fathom. So, I will probably stick to not hoarding anything and not murdering anyone, and leave that business to those who mean business.  When we meet on the other side, I will be interested to hear if it was worth it.

Disclosure: no positions in gold, precious metals, commodities, or producers
Stocks: GLD, GBS, GOLD