First of all, apologies for the fuckawful headline pun, but some days you simply have to play the cards you are dealt. That said, the market was quiet today as it digested marginal macro news and even more marginal earnings news while it continues to wait for next week's QE2 which promises to be a worse proposed sequel than Amistad II: The Return Trip Home.
On the QE2 front, New York Fed President and voting member of the FOMC member William "Dollar Bill" Dudley got his college on today at Cornell University (known as the Harvard of Ithaca, NY) where in a speech he said "The Fed cannot wave a magic wand and make the problems remaining from the preceding period of excess vanish immediately." He then explained "For the millionth time, we're not magicians, we're fucking witch doctors so we don't waive magic wands, we dance around fires and chant incantations to the great Jobu. Come on people, that's Wiccan 101 shit for you."
Dudley went on to say that QE2 would be unwarranted unless "the economic outlook were to evolve in a way that made me more confident we would see better outcomes for both employment and inflation before too long." And with that, Money McBags can see why some teabaggers want the Fed to be shut down since evolution is a myth and thus the economy can't evolve, it can only intelligently design itself to something better and do you trust these people to design anything intelligently?
As far as tangible macro news, consumer confidence rose slightly last month off of an unsurprisingly downwardly revised number and still remains near record lows as most consumers are only confident that the economy is getting worse than Bob Guccione's lungs (and Money McBags tips his jimmy hat to the great media mogul). Digging in to the number shows that the "jobs hard to get" index rose to 46.1% from 45.8%, the "jobs plentiful" index slipped to 3.5% from 3.8%, and the "jobs you're never going to get again" index rose to "oh fuck I'm screwed."
In other macro news, the Case Schiller index weakened, in what Money McBags calls the "no shit Sherlock" fact of the day. While the index rose 1.7% y/y which was below analyst guesses of 2.1%, it fell .2% sequentially or .3% on a seasonally adjusted basis. But here is what Money McBags loves most about the data, per the NY Times "S.& P. announced earlier this year that the unadjusted numbers were a more reliable indicator." So riddle Money McBags this Mr. Case, Mr. Schiller, and Standard and fucking Poor's, if the seasonally adjusted numbers are a worse indicator than the non-seasonally adjusted numbers, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU BOTHER ADJUSTING THEM? That is more mind boggling than the fact that they just now stopped making the Sony Walkman.
Seriously, why take shitty, dated, questionable data in the first place, and manipulate that data to make it even more worthless? It's like whatever the opposite of putting lipstick on a pig is (perhaps putting Rosie O'Donnell in a bikini or Alan Greenspan on CNBC?). So while the adjustment didn't matter this month, making data worse and then presenting that data as relevant can be more misleading than something called naked table building (which apparently involves no nudity, but plenty of wood), so why it is done is more perplexing to Money McBags than anything involving Randy Quaid.
One other piece of interesting news is...READ MORE....
Disclosure: No positions