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Money McBags is the preeminent financial humorist and money maker in the world. While known for his ability to find and invest in undervalued equities, Mr. McBags is also a world class dick joke teller, an aficionado of lovely ladies, and avid reader of books without pictures in them. With... More
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When Genius Prevailed
  • 3/2/10 Midevening Report: Market rises as member of the Fed retires, economists worried more retirements could cause bubble 0 comments
    Mar 2, 2010 7:12 PM | about stocks: F, SPLS, MNK, NTRI, NLS

    The Fed is getting all jiggy with the markets today and the markets seem to like it.  First Ben Bernanke's number one henchman, the honorable Donald L. Kohn who in 40 years of service at the Fed never saw a market he couldn't inflate, announced he is resigning from his position as Vice Chairman of the Fed in order to pursue other ventures more productive to society like finding out where the all the bees went, calculating Pi to the 1 billionth decimal (hint: 7), or figuring out how to get a money shot in lesbian porn (and squirting is not an acceptable answer).  When asked why he was retiring, Kohn cited his age, his family, and his annoyance at always having to leave the seat down for Janet Yellen in the Federal Reserve bathroom (and I am told the right stall still contains the graffiti from 1934 of former Fed Chairman Eugene Black stating "Once you go Black, rates will never come back," which helps explain why he was only in that position for only 1 year).  Journalists have begun speculating on who Obama will nominate to fill Kohn's seat at the Fed with leading candidates being the esteemed former President of Harvard Larry Summers who was forced to resign from that position due to a vote of "no confidence" (and seeing how the Fed is supposed to help instill confidence in to the economy, Summer's "no confidence" vote may be a bit of a red flag), some lady named Christina Romer who actually looks a bit like Larry Summers in drag (no really, check it out, this is Larry Summers, this is Christina Romer, have you ever seen them in the same room?), and of course When Genius Prevailed's own Money McBags (and Money McBags will certainly turn down the nomination as it would impede on his time at his not safe for working at the Fed, yet imminently important, hobby of guessing muffs (NSFW)).  Not only is Donald Kohn retiring, but rogue Federal Reserve Board Member Thomas "T-Ho" Hoenig who is the yin to Bernanke's yang, the Mary Kate to Bernanke's Ashley, and the turd to Bernanke's punchbowl, is out again saying rates need to move up sooner rather than later.  While Benny B seemingly dissed T-Ho last week when congress axed him about rates and he said they would be kept low for an extended period of time, T-Ho got all upitty on Benny B and went on CNBC to air his grievances about indefinite low rates, inflation, and Benny B not keeping it real (rates that is).  T-Ho said:  "You are inviting future problems" and then removed his gold teef, took a swig on his 40 of Mickeys, and reiterated that a zero percent fed-funds rate is "inviting future excesses, and we all know my baby momma ain't need no more excesses."   But he didn't stop there, T-Ho took it one step further, opining "I think we shouldn't be guaranteeing markets a zero rate for an extended period."  Rates "could be higher, and the effects would be minor" and "We should start that process sooner rather than later."  He then lamented that that "Bitch ass Benny B better recognize and check himself before he wrecks himself, because this aint no round the way girl he's messing with, this is Uncle fucking Sam."


    In international news, continued hopes of a Greek bailout...READ A WHOLE LOT MORE....

    Disclosure: No Positions
    Stocks: F, SPLS, MNK, NTRI, NLS
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