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Money McBags is the preeminent financial humorist and money maker in the world. While known for his ability to find and invest in undervalued equities, Mr. McBags is also a world class dick joke teller, an aficionado of lovely ladies, and avid reader of books without pictures in them. With... More
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When Genius Prevailed
  • 3/5/10 Midafternoon Report: With Oscars approaching, the market is "Up" as economists "Blind Side"d by fewer job losses while strength of recovery remains "Up in the Air" 0 comments
    Mar 5, 2010 2:35 PM | about stocks: NTRI, AAPL

    The market is running again as a result of the jobs report and inertia.  According to the (No)Labor Department, the economy lost 36k jobs in February while the unemployment rate stayed steady (and for those cunning linuists or Nabokov fans, that is back to back anagrams) at 9.7%.  This was better than the estimates of 68k job losses but is not a definitive enough number (like 42) to give investors a real read on the direction of the economy.  However, beating estimates is all that matters even though we know estimates are inherrently flawed like a supermodel with a hairy ass.  Some economists partially blamed snowstorms for the job losses, while others blamed companies for wanting to be profitable.  The (No)Labor Department chimed in and said job losses from snowstorms were unquantifiable like the square root of a negative number (imaginary numbers be damned), the number of one night stands by Paris Hilton, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

    In international markets, the Greeks are still protesting their loss of free lunches (and if those lunches were chicken gyros with a dollop of tzatzki sauce, who can blame them?) but now they are rioting in the street causing police to employ Greek helmets for protection.  German Chancellor Angela Merkel pulled herself away from the daily German scat film break to say she feels Greece has done enough to cut their deficit which has made the market guess as to whether the EU will continue to provide support.  This was not helped by Germany's economic minister Rainer Bruederle who tried to "rainer" on Greece's parade (and since it has been sunny in Greece today, it was quite a golden shower) by saying Germany "does not intend to give a cent" to Greece.  Of course Money McBags isn't falling for that sleight of language, knowing that Greece wants euros and not cents, so it was only an idle threat by Herr Bruederle.  Also, some guy named Jean-Claude Juncker (and one can only hope he isn't a bond sales man because Juncker bonds would be a name almost as unfortunate as if Mary Turdy sold bottled water, hence Turdy Water) who heads a group of euro-area finance ministers is soothing the market by saying...READ MORE INCLUDING A BREAKDOWN OF NTRI....

    Disclosure: Long AAPL
    Stocks: NTRI, AAPL
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