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5/4/10 Midafternoon Report: Monty Python to rewrite script as somebody expects the Spanish Inquisition

|Includes:CRUS, MRK, Nutrisystem Inc (NTRI), PFE, SIRI

Timberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  The market is trading down as if Europe is going to go bankrupt like John Edward's morals or like investors think it will give them AIDS (which means Magic Johnson is happily buying today since he can't be infected again).  The news continues to be fears that even with austerity measures and a bailout, Greece is going to be more fucked than Custer at the Battle of Little Bighorn or Houston after the Houston 620.  As a result, the dollar is at its one year high against the euro, though to be fair, part of that high is because 90% of dollars have traces of cocaine on them.  Adding fear to Greece's impending doom is worry that the debt contagion is spreading to the other crappy European countries about which no one cares (you hear that Liechtenstein with your alps, tax haven, and policy of neutrality?).  Spain is once again worrying the markets as Spanish banks are proving to be weaker than the force carried by W and Z bosons or Tiger Wood's "sexual addiction" excuse.  Apparently two banks in Northern Spain were supposed to merge but that is now some sort of power struggle to see who gets to be in charge of the crappy loans which sounds a bit like Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty arguing over who gets the marketing rights to Ishtar.  Along with bank issues, the country's current unemployment rate is over 20% and considering they have like a 15 hour work week, that is fucking shocking.   Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Gonzalez Ramirez Guerrero Zapatero is shocked by the speculation that his country may be facing worse fiscal problems and claimed his country has “strong solvency” and the possibilty of needing a bailout is “complete madness”  before he asked reporters if they'd like to buy an unfinished church and promised he'd make them a deal, even throwing in a Shake Weight for free.  The market is scared today with Europe's debt crisis pulling a Coleman Silk and spooking investors but we were due for some consolidation so as long as you hold names you are comfortable with, don't panic.

In US macro news, pending home sales rose 5.3% which beat guesses and reached a 5 month high.  As always, this increase was driven by tax breaks for new home buyers and cardboard boxes now being included in reported home sales numbers.  Also, factory orders jumped 1.3% in March and were up 3.1% when excluding transportation orders which is the biggest surge in 5 years since the great home redecoration bubble of 2005.  The US macro news continues to be encouraging but we still need to see unemployment decline until we will start feeling giddier than Amanda Carrier's bowflex.

In stock news, everything is down so this could be..READ MORE...ANALYSIS OF NTRI...

Disclosure: Long CRUS
Stocks: NTRI, CRUS, SIRI, MRK, PFE