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Money McBags is the preeminent financial humorist and money maker in the world. While known for his ability to find and invest in undervalued equities, Mr. McBags is also a world class dick joke teller, an aficionado of lovely ladies, and avid reader of books without pictures in them. With... More
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When Genius Prevailed
  • 5/21/10 Midafternoon Report: Market rebounds, now it needs to stop missing shots 0 comments
    May 21, 2010 4:55 PM | about stocks: TSYS, DELL, GPS

    The market was up today as apparently it has been corrected like Stevie Wonder's vision or Larry Craig's family values.  With Europe now fixed, unemployment shrinking, and monkeys flying out Money McBags butt, it should be back to lobster tails and BJs in no time.  The good news is that nothing has really changed between today and yesterday, while the bad news is that nothing has really changed between today and yesterday.  Money McBags remains more fearful of the markets than he is of supply side economics, Sylvester Stallone's face, and girls with bacne so he is just trying to ride today out until the next correction begins.

    In US news, the Senate passed a financial reform bill, despite the protestations of Senator Maria Cantwell who won the Huffington Post's sexiest Senator competition, narrowly edging out Senators Barbara Mikulski (who shocked the judges with a daring hail mary by sporting a thong in the swimsuit competion) and the delightful Mary Landrieu (who tittillated the judges in the talent competition with her pig hunting calls. Soowee indeed.).  In the bill, financials will have to go back to their room and think about how they have made the market feel.  The legislation includes restrictions on predatory lending (which is bad news for cougars like Kelly Madison who are among the fiercest predators in the animal kingdom), a way to liquidate failed banks without bail outs (like um, doing fucking nothing), and restrictions on derivatives trading (like maybe making sure they all have underlying assets, and Money McBags would love to lie under Lisa Ann's assets).  It also creates a “financial stability oversight council” which will exist until it fucks up by watching too much trannie porn like the SEC and a new council is created in ten years to clean up this mess.  This council reads like a who's who of economic red tape and includes the Treasury secretary, the chairman of the Federal Reserve, the comptroller of the currency, The "Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase, the director of the new consumer financial protection bureau, the heads of the Securities and Exchange Commission and the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, Scrooge McDuck, the director of the Federal Housing Finance Agency, an independent appointee of the president, and Malachi Constant so it goes.  Wow.  It's like a mental masturbation all-star team where the head of every shitty bureaucracy in the US can get together to form a super bureaucracy and fight off the Legion of Boom.  One troubling sign for the markets is that LIBOR rose to a ten month high as risk aversion is back like herpes, since it will never really go away.

    In Europe, Germany's lower house (the Bundestag) voted to contribute to Europe's bail out followed by their upper house (the Bundesrat) agreeing as well which made Chancellor Angela Merkel (the Bundeshag) unpopular among the German people.  Causing concern...READ MORE....

    Disclosure: no positions
    Stocks: TSYS, DELL, GPS
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