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Money McBags is the preeminent financial humorist and money maker in the world. While known for his ability to find and invest in undervalued equities, Mr. McBags is also a world class dick joke teller, an aficionado of lovely ladies, and avid reader of books without pictures in them. With... More
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When Genius Prevailed
  • 8/2/10 Midevening Report: Market hits ten week high as meth lab in the basement pays off 0 comments
    Aug 2, 2010 5:47 PM | about stocks: KIRK, GLW, KO, BBRY, NTRI

    The market ran faster today than Roman Polanski going to get his keys to pick the baby sitter up because the manufacturing sector grew at its slowest pace since December, private construction spend dipped for the second month in a row, and Ben Bernanke said shit still sucks out there.  So rally fucking on like Donkey Kong having his way with the princess, only if the princess had tainted his banana wth AIDS. 

    With the market rallying on macro news that was about as positive as a RuPaul pregnancy test, Money McBags is left to wonder what he is missing, how much the market would rally if there were actually something positive going on in the economy (like maybe either the second derivative of released data positively increasing or the unemployment rate decreasing and not from just from a declining labor force participation rate), and how he overlooked this delightful NSFW Alice Eve scene which has caused his Oscar to stand and applaud.  Money McBags is not quite sure how to interpret the market moving in opposition to macro data, as the language of giberrish wasn't on the rosetta stone the last time he checked, but he hopes those of you buying in to this capitualting market are careful.

    As for macro news, Benny B warned us that "we have a considerable way to go to achieve full recovery in our economy, and many Americans are still grappling with unemployment, foreclosure, and lost savings, in addition to the angst and nausea they feel every time they look at the deficit and realize their kids may be more fucked than Stephen Hawking in a duel."  Ok, perhaps that last bit was made up but, whatever.  Bennie B did get slightly positive by saying he fully expects consumer spend to pick up in the next few quarters as wages rise, business demand picks up, and the US finally figures out what to do with all of the underwear they stole

    Money McBags is a bit skeptical of Bennie B's claims since unemployment remains more stagnant than the Terri Moulton Horman for "Stepmother of the Year" campaign or jokes here on the great When Genius Prevailed so it's not clear where these rising wages are going to come from unless it's from laying more people off and then giving those still employed a bit of the saved salary, which of course would do nothing for overall consumer demand.  But hey, when Bennie B gets his Fed on, the market listens (to the parts it wants to hear).

    In other macro news, the ISM came out with their numbers for July and the manufacturing sector grew at its slowest pace this year, but luckily, the 55.5 number was better than the 54.2 analyst had guessed so rally on my friends.  It was the third straight month (and the month was so straight it even got it up for a Kathy Najimy-Rachel Ray threesome) of slower growth but remember, readings above 50 still signal expansion, so apparently there is nothing to see here (except for new orders dropping to their lowest level in over a year, production slowing down, and Kagney Linn Karter).

    In the final bit of macro news.......READ MORE.......

    Disclosure: Long KO
    Stocks: KIRK, GLW, KO, BBRY, NTRI
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