Buffett plays to his fans on CNBC

• Appearing on Squawk Box, The Oracle doesn't disappoint:
• On JPMorgan (NYSE:JPM): "If a cop follows you for 500 miles, you're going to get a ticket."
• On possible U.S. default: "Idiocy ... this is like poison gas."
• On Apple (NASDAQ:AAPL): He wishes he bought it years ago and chides Carl Icahn, saying companies shouldn't be run primarily to please Wall Street.
• Berkshire (BRK.A, BRK.B) has about $40B of cash on hand at the moment, and Buffett's a buyer despite the D.C. standoff.