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Good News for Dendreon, Bad News for Prostate Cancer

My sister contracted prostrate cancer from lying down too much! Fortunately, there is a proven cure; return to your local high school and sign up for English 101. It also cures the following:
Seperate Bedroom Trauma (SBT)
Mispelled Word Syndrome (MWS)
High School Principle Burnout (HSPB)
Nineth Grade Attention Deficit (NGAD)
If you're smiling now, you will never suffer from any of the above.