Metzenbaum Scissors

The Hedge Fund of America, LP

There is NO market for toxic debt, otherwise it could be sold. Your government is the ONLY buyer. The ONLY buyer.

So, will it be purchased for mark-to-market?

For book value?

For purchase price?

Wake up America. Paulsen gets $700,000,000,000 to spend without recourse.

It's just wrong.

Your entrepreneurial culture of bootstraps and gumption and is as strong as ever. The will is there, but there is no longer a way.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the train coming at you.

Sic transit gloria.

The Bailout to End All Bailouts

Too big to fail?

Too big to exist.

Lehman Files For Bankruptcy

""The AP also said officials at the U.S. Treasury and the Federal Reserve say they are prepared to be more generous in the Fed's emergency lending program for commercial and investment banks.""

Sounds like US taxpayer $$$ for crap toxic assets... again.

How long are you gonna take this, American citizens? The rest of us need a vibrant economy from you... and not capitalist profits and socialized losses.

WAKE UP!

Lehman: A Damned Shame

Macro Man, I'm from the government and I am here to help.

Today, I am announcing a plan to lower your credit card interest rates to 0%, indefinitely. Hopefully (a key component of any bailout), this will motivate you to acquire even more TV cabinets, thus taking up excess supply.
Hoping (again), actioning on this crucial (everything is crucial in America) measure will rectify the supply imbalance, creating demand for your item.
At that point, you can sell into a rapidly inflating market, recoup your losses, and normalcy will return to the market.

CNBC has stated the short sellers have caused this.

You're welcome.

Calling a Bottom: It's Time To Party

Puh-leeze, enough with the "I wanna be the next to call the bottom", especially with a pseudonym.

I predict that Canada will invade Russia and start NOPEC.

Any other anonymous ridiculous guesses out there?