Pure Truthiness

Jim Cramer's 10 Predictions for 2008

I have studied Jim Cramer's main recommendations for one year. Conclusion: He is absolutely the best contrarian indicator I have come across in over 25 years of investing. Bet against every one of his predictions and history says you will hit big on 7 out of the 10 and get rich. Have you all forgotten his 2007 Stock of the Year -- NYX? How about his statement on Jan 10 that the bear market was over and it would be straight up from there. The market tanked from there and hit its previous lows again on Jan 22. Who can forget his terrific contrary success when, with Google at 720 he said, "It has momentum and is going to 1000." The Cramer crazies sent it up to 750 the next day, where I shorted it. In the next few weeks Google took the shaft with no elevator straight down to 400 without passing "Go." Finally there is the greatest contrarian call of all time, the Jan 24 prediction that Beaeeer Stearns would be taken over at a premium to its then price at 84. I shorted again. Bear went straight down to $4 in just 9 weeks and got a $2 takeover. I l-o-o-o-ve Jim Cramer. Finally, as proof of his uncanny ability, with Bear at $4, Cramer said "Sell." Bear was at $14 one week later and now stands at almost $11. You can't make this stuff up. The man is incredible! I don't know how he does it.

MY PREDICTION FOR 2008: Cramer retires and gives a goodbye speech from the deck of a Navy warship in which he proclaims, "You won't have Cramer to kick around anymore." In what will be later hailed as a brilliant move, CNBC replaces Cramer by hiring that guy from the infomercials with question marks all over his suit to give financial advice in Cramer's time slot. Cramer followers never realize anything has changed.
Neilson does a special study and discovers the 20% of viewers who followed Cramer and think he is brilliant are the exact same people comprising the 20% of the U.S. population who still think George W. Bush is brilliant and doing a great job.