Pretzel Logic

America's Energy Policy: Coming to Terms with Reality

I just gotta say, I love the idea of making OPEC illegal. If only we had thought of this intelligent strategy during the Cold War, we could have just made the USSR illegal and the war would have been over!

I think making everything illegal is an Idea Whose Time Has Come. Since we're at it, I am humbly proposing a list of things I sincerely believe we should ALSO "make illegal":

-- Earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes

-- Volcanic eruptions (We should at least outlaw these in populated areas. And yet Congress does NOTHING.)

-- Radical Islamic Terrorists

-- Cockroaches

-- Crappy weather

-- "Lite" beer

-- The "Reverend" Al Sharpton

-- Those annoying commercials where you don't understand what the hell they're advertising until the very end when they show a company logo and say something completely irrelevant to what they're selling, such as, "Nike. Because chicken should be grilled, not fried."

-- That first poster. Pandemic, Pangea, Panasonic... whatever his name was.

-- Elvis impersonators

-- Democrats

I'm sure there are lots of other things we can make illegal if we only wish hard enough! Let's all focus on Democrats first. On three, everybody wish really hard. One... two...