williambanzai7

How Much More Can Investors Take?

CHARGE OF THE TARP BRIGADE

(Charge of the Light Brigade, Alfred Lord Tennyson)

(Modified by WilliamBanzai7)


Half a trillion, half a trillion,
Give or take 200 billion, onward!
All in the valley of Balance Sheet Death
Rode the seven hundred billion tax dollars.
"Forward, the TARP Brigade!
"Charge for the ABS Credit Default Swaps!" he said:
Into the valley of Balance Sheet Death
Rode the seven hundred billion tax dollars.


"Forward, the TARP Brigade!"
Was there a politician dismay'd?
Not tho' the Congress knew
Some guy named Hank had blunder'd:
Their's not to make reply,
Their's not to reason why,
Their's but to do and die:
Into the valley of Balance Sheet Death
Rode the seven hundred billion tax dollars.


CDOs to right of them,
CDSs to left of them,
AIG and the GSEs in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with Wall Street shot and shell,
Boldly that load of Federal largesse rode and well,
Into the jaws of Balance Sheet Death,
Into the mouth of subprime contagion Hell
Rode the seven hundred billion.


Flash'd all the workout sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air,
Sabring the asset backed losses there,
Charging an army of tawdry bankers, accountants, and shysters, while
All the world wonder'd:
Plunged in the seedy subprime-smoke
Right into the red numbers they broke;
Lehman and Bear Stearns
Spared from the sabre stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the seven hundred billion.


Subprime CDOs to right of them,
Subprime CDSs to left of them,
Fat Wall Street advisory fees behind them,
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with derivative losses, asset backed shot and shell,
While level 3 zeros fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Balance Sheet Death
Back from the mouth of subprime contagion Hell,
All that was left of it?
Nothing left of seven hundred billion!


When can its glory fade?
O the wild loss charges!
All the world wondered.
Honor the huge expenditures they made,
Honor the TARP Brigade,
Noble seven hundred billion taxpayer dollars.


(TARP--Troubled Asset Relief Plan of 2008)


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It's a Bull Market in Government Intervention

Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains

(to the melody of Big Rock Candy Mountain)
Lyrics By WilliamBanzai7


One evening as the DOW went down and the ABX was burning
Down the track came a banker hiking and he said boys I'm not turning
I'm headin for a land that's far away from Wall Street's crystal towers
So come with me we'll go and see the Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains

In Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains there's a land that's fair and bright
Where the handouts grow from the Bush bailout plan and you sleep sound every night
Where the ABS books are all empty and the sun shines every day
On the birds and the bees and the bonus trees
Where the perrier springs where the squawk box sings
In the Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains

In Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains all the regulators have wooden legs
And the shorts all have rubber teeth and the investors lay golden eggs
The traders books are full of fruit and the bankers play all day
Oh, I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall and the wind don't blow
In Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains

In Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains you never sell your stocks
And the little streams of Interest come a-trickling down the rocks
The enforcers have to tip their hats and the bears and shorts are banned
There's a lake of stew and of champagne too
You can sail all around 'em in your custom yachts
In Bernankies Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Bernanke's Rock Candy Mountains white collar jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain't no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks
I'm a goin to stay where you sleep all day
Where they hung that jerk from Berkshire Hathaway
In Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains

I'll see you all this coming fall in Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains

Playing for a Bounce?

Sympathy for the Shorts
(Lyrics by WilliamBanzai7)

Please allow me to introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
Ive been around for a long, long year
Stole many a mans nest egg and faith
And I was round when Livermore
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Milken
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around AIG
When I saw it was a time for a change
Fired the CEO and his SVPs
While Bernanke screamed in vain
I killed a bank
Was best friends with Hank
When the markets raged
And the cold Pizzas stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your investment banks bleed
Fought for ten decades
To kill paper they made
I shouted out,
Who killed the GSEs?
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for bankers
Who get fired before they reach Mumbai
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But whats confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every banker is a criminal
And all the investors saints
As heads is tails
Just call me hedge fund joe
cause Im in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned risk controls
Or Ill lay your trading book to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down
Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
Tell me baby, whats my name