williambanzai7

Kicking People Out - Cramer's Stop Trading! (9/24/08)

Bush Bailout Rising
(to the melody of Bad Moon Rising
Creedance Clearwater Revival)
Adapted by WilliamBanzai7)

I see a a Bush Bailout arising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see fiscal earthquakes and lightnin.
I see bad economic times today.

Chorus:
Dont listen to Hank n Ben tonight,
Well, its bound to take your net worth's life,
There's a bailout on the rise.

I hear deficit hurricanes a blowing.
I know the end is coming soon.
I fear rivers of debt over flowing.
I hear the taxpayer voice of rage and ruin.

Chorus
Dont listen to Hank n Ben tonight,
Well, its bound to take your net worths life,
There's a bailout on the rise.

Hope you got your assets n things together.
Hope you are quite prepared to die.
Looks like were in for nasty market weather.
One eye is taken for an eye.

Where's the Bottom? Still Anybody's Guess

TO BAIL OR NOT TO BAIL
(Adapted from William Shakespeare's Hamlet)
(WilliamBanzai7)

To Bail, or not to Bail, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous loss of fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of financial troubles
And by opposing end them. To die—to sleep,
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the billion market shocks
That investor hubris is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there's the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this market coil,
Must give us pause—there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The CEO banker's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of write offs, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th'unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare quill? Who would Federal oversight bear,
To grunt and sweat under an ordinary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovere'd country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the familiar hue of resolution trust
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.

Paulson/Bernanke: $700 Billion at 'Hold to Maturity' Pricing

DRAFT NO. 1
U.S. Treasury
Office of Sekretary Henry (Hank) Paulson

LEGISLATIVE PROPOSAL FOR TREASURY AUTHORITY
TO PURCHASE TOXIC FINANCIAL ASSETS

Sec. 1. Short Title.

This Act may be cited as "Taxpayer networth annihilation and Investment banking wealth Recovery Plan" ("TwIRP") .

Sec. 2. Purchases of Toxic Assets.

(a) Authority to Purchase. – The Sekretary is authorized to purchase, and to make and fund commitments to purchase, on such terms and conditions as determined by the Sekretary in his sole, absolute, divine and knowing discretion, any and all manner of Toxic Assets from any Financial Institution, as those terms are defined in section 13 of the Act.

(b) Necessary Actions. – The Sekretary is authorized to take such actions as the Sekretary deems necessary to carry out the authorities in this Act, including, without limitation:

(1) appointing such employees and hiring konsultants (da Konsultanz with a K), unemployed investment bankers and advisors as may be required to carry out the authorities in this Act and defining their duties;

(2) entering into contracts, MOUs, LOIs, including lucrative contracts for investment banking and financial advisory services for the management of Toxic Assets;

(3) designating Financial Institutions as financial agents, revenue collectors, purchasing agents and proxies of the Government, and they shall perform all such reasonable duties related to this Act as financial agents and proxies of the Government as they deem fit in their sole and absolute discretion;

(4) establishing vehicles, including offshore SPIVs and conduits, pyramids and highly leveraged PONZI structures that are authorized, subject to new ideas by the Secretaries quantitative engineer, to purchase Toxic Assets and issue open ended obligations;

(5) directly and indirectly, granting bonuses, equity kickers, management fees, performance fees, restructuring fees, brokerage commissions, finders fees, entertainment accounts, unemployment compensation and other compensation arrangements; and

(5) formulating such regulations, fine print, boilerplate, standard terms, ISDA riders and other terms as may be necessary or appropriate to define terms or carry out the authorities of this Act.

Sec. 3. Considerations.

In exercising the authorities granted in this Act, the Sekretary shall take into consideration means for –

(1) Reinstating Wall Street investment bankers into the financial pecking order of society;

(2) shafting the taxpayers; and

(3) appropriate steps to paper over any conflicts of interest in the hiring of Wall Street contractors or advisors. Any regulation issued under this authority shall not be subject to the rest of the United States Code.

Only to the extent reasonably feasible, the Secretary shall attempt to provide stability or prevent corruption in the financial markets or banking system;

Sec. 4. Reports to Congress.

Within three months of the first exercise of the authority granted in section 2(a), and semiannually thereafter, the Sekretary shall only if feasible, attempt to report to the Committees on the Budget, Financial Services, and Ways and Means of the House of Representatives and the Committees on the Budget, Finance, and Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs of the Senate with respect to the authorities exercised under this Act and the considerations required by section 3.

Sec. 5. Rights; Management; Sale of Troubled Assets.

(a) Exercise of Rights. – The Secretary may, at any time, in his sole, absulute, reasonable or unreasonable, divinely inspired discretion, exercise any rights received in connection with Toxic Assets purchased under this Act.

(b) Management of Toxic Assets. – The Secretary shall have authority to manage, securitize and repackage Toxic Assets purchased under this Act, including conjuring revenues and engineering away all portfolio risks therefrom.

(c) Sale of Toxic Assets. – The Sekretary may, at any time, any place, to anyone, upon terms and conditions and at prices determined by the Secretary in his sole and absolute divine discretion, sell, or enter into securitiised loans, CDOs, CDSs, kickers, participations, synthetic securities, repurchase transactions, black holes or other financial weapons of mass destruction in regard to, any asset purchased under this Act.

(d) Application of Sunset to Toxic Assets. – The authority of the Sekretary to hold any Toxic mortgage-related asset purchased under this Act before the termination date in section 9, or to purchase or fund the purchase of a mortgage-related asset under a commitment entered into before the termination date in section 9, is not subject to the provisions of section 9.

Sec. 6. Maximum Amount of Authorized Purchases.

The Sekretary's authority to purchase Troubled Assets under this Act shall be unlimited, but for optical puroses shall be expressed as $700,000,000,000,000,0... outstanding at any one time.

Sec. 7. Funding.

For the purpose of the authorities granted in this Act, and for the costs of administering those authorities, the Sekretary may use the proceeds of the sale of any securities issued under chapter 31 of title 31, United States Code, and the purposes for which securities may be issued under chapter 31 of title 31, United States Code, are extended to include actions authorized by this Act, including the payment of administrative expenses. Any funds expended for actions authorized by this Act, including the payment of administrative expenses, shall be deemed appropriated at the time of such expenditure.

Sec. 8. Review.

Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are absolutely non-reviewable and committed to absolute agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law, any administrative agency, any Congressional Committee, media, newspaper or press or other divine authority.

Sec. 9. Termination of Authority.

The authorities under this Act, with the exception of authorities granted in sections 2(b)(5), 5 and 7, shall be in perpetuity.

Sec. 10. Increase in Statutory Limit on the Public Debt.

Subsection (b) of section 3101 of title 31, United States Code, is amended by striking out the dollar limitation contained in such subsection and inserting in lieu thereof "such amount as is determined under Section 6.

Sec. 11. Credit Reform.

The costs of purchases of Troubled Assets made under section 2(a) of this Act shall be determined only if feasible and if we have more time.

Sec. 12. Indemnification and Release.

No consultant, agent, employee or other firm engaged pursuant to this Act shall be held accountable for negligence or shabby performance, including in particular, service and performance
in a grossly negligent and reckless manner. Such parties shall be fully indemnified with the full faith and credit of the USA.

Section 13. Definitions.

For purposes of this Act, the following definitions shall apply:

(1) Financial Institution. – The term "Financial Institutions" means any institution including, but not limited to, banks, thrifts, credit unions, broker-dealers, and insurance companies, having significant operations in the United States; and, upon the Sekretary's determination perhaps in consultation with the Chairman of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve, any other institution he determines necessary to promote financial market stability. For the avoidance of doubt, the term shall include Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley and any spin off, successor or surviving entity.

(2) Secretary. – The term "Sekretary" means the "Hank" Paulson and his heirs and or Phil Gramm.

(3) Toxic Assets. – The term "Toxic Assets" means residential or commercial mortgages and any securities, obligations, or other instruments that are based on or related to such mortgages, that in each case was originated or issued on or before September 17, 2008; and, upon the determination of the Sekretary perhaps in consultation with the Chairman of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve, any other financial WMD, as he determines necessary to promote the strength of Wall Street; including without limitation, leveraged buyout credits, prime brokerage margin credits and and all CDS counter party liability.

(4) Black Scholes Formula.-- A term utilized to convince the cynics and skeptics that we know what we are doing.

(5) LTCM. A previous financial disaster that would have led to financial meltdown. Discounted by the regulatory authorities as a 1000 year aberation.

(6) Alan Greenspan. A once in a 1000 year goofball.

(7) George Bush. A circus clown who lives in the White House.

(8) SEC. Somebody please Eject Cox.

(9) 2 Big 2 Fail. 2 Stupid 2 Survive.

(8) United States. – The term "United States and USA" means the United Socialistic American States, territories, and possessions of the United States, Wall Street, East Hampton, Nantucket and the District of Columbia.

HEAR YE, HEAR YE, HEAR YE, may it be known by all thee present, that this TwIRP is hereby declared the law of the land.

The Undisclosed Costs of the U.S. Government Bailouts

CHARGE OF THE TARP BRIGADE

(Charge of the Light Brigade, Alfred Lord Tennyson)

(Modified by WilliamBanzai7)


Half a trillion, half a trillion,
Give or take 200 billion, onward!
All in the valley of Balance Sheet Death
Rode the seven hundred billion tax dollars.
"Forward, the TARP Brigade!"
"Charge for the ABS Credit Default Swaps!" Hank said:
Into the valley of Balance Sheet Death
Rode the seven hundred billion taxpayer dollars.


"Forward, the TARP Brigade!"
Was there a politician dismay'd?
Not tho' the Congress knew
Some guy named Hank had blunder'd:
Their's not to make reply,
Their's not to reason why,
Their's but to do and die:
Into the valley of Balance Sheet Death
Rode the seven hundred billion taxpayer dollars.


CDOs to right of them,
CDSs to left of them,
AIG and the GSEs in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with Wall Street shot and shell,
Boldly that load of Federal largesse rode and well,
Into the jaws of Balance Sheet Death,
Into the mouth of subprime contagion Hell
Rode the seven hundred billion taxpayer dollars.


Flash'd all the workout sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air,
Sabring the asset backed losses there,
Charging an army of tawdry bankers, accountants, and shysters, while
All the world wonder'd:
Plunged in the seedy subprime-smoke
Right into the red numbers they broke;
Lehman and Bear Stearns
Spared from the sabre stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the seven hundred billion.


Subprime CDOs to right of them,
Subprime CDSs to left of them,
Fat Wall Street advisory fees behind them,
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with derivative losses, asset backed shot and shell,
While level 3 zeros fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Balance Sheet Death
Back from the mouth of subprime contagion Hell,
All that was left of it?
Nothing left of seven hundred billion buckaroos!


When can its glory fade?
O the wild loss charges!
All the world wondered.
Honor the huge expenditures they made,
Honor the TARP Brigade,
Noble seven hundred billion taxpayer dollars.


(TARP--Troubled Asset Relief Plan of 2008)


williambanzai7.blogspo.../

The Undisclosed Costs of the U.S. Government Bailouts

How The Grinch Almost Killed Wall Street
(How the Grinch Stole Christmas revised by
William Banzai7)

Every Banker down on Wall Street Liked CDOS a lot...
But the Grinch,Who lived just north in Greenwich, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated those Street jerks for a whole list of reasons!
Now, that is why we are having this exciting fall season.
It could be his trader head was screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his white shoes were a little too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his NAV was 12 sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, His smarts or his shoes,
He stood there last week, hating all Wall Street's Whose Whos,
Staring down at his trading NAV with a sour, Grinchy frown,
Detesting those warm lighted screens in Wall Street town.
For he knew every Captain down in Wall Street beneath,
Was busy now, trying to sail through the great Subprime reef.
"And they're firing their traders" he snarled with a sneer,
"In three months its Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to give those investment bankers a drubbing!"
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Whose Who of Bankers,
Would wake bright and early. And rush to save all their bonus earnings!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Whose Whos, young and old, would all fly Far East.
And they'd try to talk Korea and China into feasting on trading book yeast!
And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on champagne and rare banker roast beast.
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all!
Every Who down in Wall Street, the Bulls and the Bears,
Would stand close together, with opening bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING!
SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of this Singing,
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for year after year I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop a Wall Street bailout from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a some quick calls to spread rumours of unkown CDS stew.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great short seller trick!"
"With this phone and this screen, I'll batter those Wall Street Dicks!"

"PoohPooh to the Whose Whos!" he was grinchishly humming.
"They're finding out now that no White Knight is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Whos down in Wall Street will all cry BooHoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear noises over the trading screen glow.
It started low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Bloomberg and Reuters! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every banker down in Wall Street, the longs and the shorts,
Was singing! Without any White Knight at all!
He HADN'T seen a Big Wall Street bailout coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came!
And the Grinch, stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out tickers! It came without a tab!"
"It came as Federal largesse in boxes and bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe a Bailout," he thought, "is not just for financial Whooers"
"Maybe Fed bailout...perhaps...me... a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Well...on Greenwich Main Street they say,
That the Grinch's taxes grew 12 sizes that day!
And the minute his wallet didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his Lexus through the Bronx morning light,
And he met those Wall Street boys for a Smith & Wolensky feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grinch carved the beef!

Causes and Opportunity Cost on the Ongoing Crisis

Paulsens's Big Rock Candy Mountains

(to the melody of Big Rock Candy Mountain)
Lyrics By WilliamBanzai7


One evening as the DOW went down and the ABX was burning
Down the track came a banker hiking and he said boys I'm not turning
I'm headin for a land that's far away from Wall Street's crystal towers
So come with me we'll go and see the Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains

In Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains there's a land that's fair and bright
Where the handouts grow from the Bush bailout pros and you sleep sound every night
Where the ABS books are all empty and the sun shines every day
On the birds and the bees and the bonus trees
Where the perrier springs where the squawk box sings
In the Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains

In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains all the regulators have wooden legs
And the shorts all have rubber teeth and the taxpayers lay golden eggs
The traders books are full of fruit and the bankers play all day
Oh, I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall and the wind don't blow
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains

In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains you never sell your stocks
And the glimmering streams of origination fees come a-trickling down the rocks
The enforcers have to tip their hats and the bears and shorts are banned
There's a lake of stew and of champagne too
You can sail all around 'em in your custom yachts
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains

In Paulsen's Rock Candy Mountains white collar jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain't no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks
I'm a goin to stay where you sleep all day
Where they hung that jerk from Berkshire Hathaway
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains

I'll see you all this coming fall in Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains

The Fed Giveth, the Fed Taketh Away

Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains

(to the melody of Big Rock Candy Mountain)
Lyrics By WilliamBanzai7


One evening as the DOW went down and the ABX was burning
Down the track came a banker hiking and he said boys I'm not turning
I'm headin for a land that's far away from Wall Street's crystal towers
So come with me we'll go and see the Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains

In Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains there's a land that's fair and bright
Where the handouts grow from the Bush bailout pros and you sleep sound every night
Where the ABS books are all empty and the sun shines every day
On the birds and the bees and the bonus trees
Where the perrier springs where the squawk box sings
In the Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains

In Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains all the regulators have wooden legs
And the shorts all have rubber teeth and the taxpayers lay golden eggs
The traders books are full of fruit and the bankers play all day
Oh, I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall and the wind don't blow
In Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains

In Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains you never sell your stocks
And the glimmering streams of origination fees come a-trickling down the rocks
The enforcers have to tip their hats and the bears and shorts are banned
There's a lake of stew and of champagne too
You can sail all around 'em in your custom yachts
In Bernankies Big Rock Candy Mountains

In Bernanke's Rock Candy Mountains white collar jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain't no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks
I'm a goin to stay where you sleep all day
Where they hung that jerk from Berkshire Hathaway
In Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains

I'll see you all this coming fall in Bernanke's Big Rock Candy Mountains

The Financial Crisis Explained

Wall Street, Bush, AAA Lawyers and the Demise of Accountability

We live in a time when political and business leaders are able to avoid being held accountable for their acts of gross negligence and wilful misconduct. Sounds like lawyer talk. Well lawyers are intricately involved in this sorry state of affairs. Lets take the Bush administration. What did all the Republican cronies like Cheney learn from the Nixon saga? Don't put yourself in weak position legally. Don't testify under oath, better yet don't testify. Don't provide information under threat of perjury and obstruction of justice, better yet don't provide information. They have artfully avoided political accountability for a litany of constitutional abuses, executive misconduct and malfeasance. They are also getting AAA legal advice.

OK, now lets consider what has happened in the financial services industry. Until recently, our securities laws forced Wall Street to worry about the way it conducts business. Don't play by regulatory rules with origins in Roosevelt's New Deal and sooner or later the SEC or Elliot Spitzer will hunt you down. You had to worry about adequate disclosure and a battery of rules designed to protect average public investors. If you misbehaved, you also had to worry about a ravinous plaintiff's bar charged with the duty of prosecuting claims on behalf of investors unable to fend for themselves (for a generous fee, of course). More AAA lawyers.

Those New Deal rules are still there. However, Wall Street has managed to water everything down to the point where a manmade Katrina hits the financial markets and there is little or no means to hold the perpetrators accountable. Don't hold your breath waiting for the SEC to chase the bankers that designed, peddled and later lied about their exposure to toxic jackass backed securities. What about Credit Default Swaps? Oh, those so called financial weapons of mass destruction are not securities within the meaning of the securities laws. Those are cutting edge risk management tools. How about investors like poor old AIG banding together to sue those who set them up with these improvised financial explosive devices. Never mind, those were sold to "sophisticated" and "accredited" investors able to fend for themselves. Sales to these financial sophisticates are not subject to the same legal regime. We now see that "sophisticated investor" means one who expects to be bailed out by Uncle Sam. Finally, you won't be seeing any widows and orphans starting class action suits, because no one sold them any securities. Instead, they are accused of being financially culpable in this mess because they fell prey to the army of mortgage/real estate brokers who aggressively peddled shadow bank loans. Mortgage brokers in some instances owned by who else? Wall Street investment banks like Lehman and Bear Stearns. Shadow bank loans? Yep, more AAA legal advice.

Let the markets regulate themselves! That is the fundamentalist mantra of the lords of the Street. Well, that is what the market was actually doing until this past Friday. Self regulation came in the surprising form of punishment by the shorts. After all, it was the unregulated hedge fund industry, Messrs Einhorn et al, and not the SEC that called Lehman and AIG to the carpet. Not to worry, Mr. Cox, a Wall Street lawyer who runs the SEC, has fixed the short problem for his former clients/masters. Trading bets against financial institutions are now banned. In a comic twist, the SEC is apparently planning to force hedge fund managers to testify under oath. Something more than you can expect from the likes of Harriet Myers, Esq. and Alberto Gonzalez, Esq. Ultimately, the reckless bets that the investment banks made with shareholder capital will go unpunished. Still more AAA legal advice.

Well you begin to see how what seems like one big scam is actually a legally airtight apparatus for screwing Grandma, Grandpa and Joe public in an indirect manner without being held legally accountable. Time to throw out all of the New Deal regulatory assumptions and start all over again. Wall Street, like the Bush administration, has managed to innovate its way out of corporate accountability-- the old fashioned way: hire innovative AAA lawyers. 

One hundred years ago a man named Franklin Keyes, Esq. (you guessed it, a Wall Street lawyer) published a tract titled: "Wall Street Speculation, Its Tricks and Its Tragedies". In it he says: "Wall Street is dominated by some of the brainiest and shrewdest men in the country, natural born sharpers and schemers, and before the average man can get the better of them, except through the merest chance, he will have to eat brain food for a long time." Well said Mr. Keyes. Nothing seems to have changed, particularly the need to hire AAA lawyers.

WilliamBanzai7
September 2008

Lessons to Learn from the Market Meltdown

Sympathy for the Devil
(Lyrics by WilliamBanzai7)

Please allow me to introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
Ive been around for a long, long year
Stole many a mans nest egg and faith
And I was round when Livermore
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Milken
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around AIG
When I saw it was a time for a change
Fired the CEO and his SVPs
While Bernanke screamed in vain
I owned a bank
Was best friends with Hank
When the markets raged
And the cold Pizzas stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your investment banks bleed
Fought for ten decades
For the junk paper they made
I shouted out,
Who killed LTCM and the SEC?
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for bond traders
Who get fired before they reach Mumbai
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But whats confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every banker is a criminal
And all the investors saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Merrill, Bear, Drexel, Lehman, Kidder & Chase
cause Im in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned risk controls
Or Ill lay your trading book to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down
Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
Tell me baby, whats my name

Global Subprime Fallout From Lehman, Fannie/Freddie [Housing Tracker]

MONEY FOR NOTHING--RESIDENTIAL MORTGAGE BACKED SECURITIES
(to the Melody of Money for Nothing by Dire Straits)


I want my, I want my Blackberry
I want my, I want my Blackberry

Now look at them yo-yos thats the way you do it
Shovelin CDOs on CNBC
That aint workin thats the way you do it
Money for nothin-- asset backed securities
Now that aint workin thats the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys aint dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
A blister from your Blackberry

[Chorus]
We gotta securitize more subprime products
Custom derivatives--OTC
We gotta move these toxic tranches
We gotta screw Moody's, S&P

See the little faggot in the pinstripes and suspenders
Yeah buddy that ain't his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot hes a Billionaire

[Chorus]
We gotta securitize more subprime products
Custom derivative origination fees
We gotta move these toxic tranches
We gotta screw those GSEs

I shoulda learned about structured products
I shoulda learned to be a quant
Look at that mama, she got it stickin in the squawk box
Man we could have some fun
And hes up there, whats that? hawaiian noises?
Hes bangin on the bongoes like Ben Bernanke
That aint workin thats the way you do it
Get your money for nothin-- asset backed securities

[Chorus]
We gotta securitize more subprime products
Custom derivatives---S.P.I.V....
We gotta move these toxic tranches
We gotta screw the monos and AIG,

Listen here, that aint workin thats the way you do it
Shoveling CDOs on CNBC
That aint workin thats the way you do it
Money for nothin--asset backed securities
Money for nothin--asset backed securities

I want my, I want my blackberry
I want my, I want my blackberry

(All rights reserved WilliamBanzai7 2008)

Fannie and Freddie: We All Support You!

Actually management executed their strategy flawlesslessly. Fleece the shareholders by taking out big paychecks. It was the gross negligence of the regulatory apparatus and the lax management of the Fed that made htis whole debacle possible.

Bad-News Friday Nights

Don't get comforable yet. Lehman is in a vice grip, AIG is in a vice grip, the FDIC is running low on cash, the leveraged loans are starting to default and consumer receivables are slipping as well. This doe snot bode well.

Former SEC Chairman Levitt: The Dangers of the Paulson Doctrine

ALL AND ALL ITS JUST ANOTHER TRICK FROM THE WALL

We don't need no regulation
We dont need no risk controls
No dark sarcasm in the court rooms
Alan Greedspan left the banks alone
Hey! Cuomo! Leave them banks alone!
All in all it's just another trick from the Wall.
All in all its just another trick from the Wall.

We don't need no regulation
We dont need no risk controls
No dark sarcasm in the court rooms
People leave us banks alone
Hey! Paulsen! Leave them banks alone!
All in all it's just another trick from the Wall.
All in all you're just another mark for the Wall.

"Wrong, Do it again!"
"If you don't screw yer clients, you can't be dishonest. How can you
be honest if you work on the Street?"
"You! Yes, you behind the trading screen, screw that old lady!"