AppleCritter's  Instablog

I'm a guy.

I don't have time to waste waggling my butt into a pair of Levis just to check the fit. The IPADs are really cool. I don't have to try to guess what I look like from the back side. It's like something from the space age.

The only thing missing from the denim bar is a candy jar filled with free samples of Cialis. After all, I'm a guy.

Disclosure: I have no positions in any stocks mentioned, and no plans to initiate any positions within the next 72 hours.

The last paycheck arrives on Friday,
I'll be in New Orleans investing it.

Monday's the day,
I sign on the line
To receive my JC Penney Valentine,
Severance pay for all the good times.

And, with time served,
I'm a Gold Card Retiree!

Since flying to Plano
To take over JC Penney
On his Gulfstream/G5
Ron Johnson has proven to be
The ultimate Black Swan

He cut the dividend.
And JC Penney bonds
Are now officially JUNK

Now he's having five promotional "events":
Memorial Day; Back to School; Black Friday;
Christmas; Kwanza; and Chanukah.
Total: Six. Confused?
What are the customers thinking!

After months of educating JCP customers
That there is no such thing as a "sale",
RonJohn has thrown in the towel
And uttered the word: "See below"

If "sales" do fail
BlackSwan RonJohn
The "Genius" of retail
Has but two gimmicks left
Coupons and Chapter 11

JC Penney's Ron Johnson Capitulates, Uses Word "Sale"

http://www.benzinga.com/trading-ideas/long-ideas/12/06/2648175/jc-penneys-ron-johnson-capitulates-uses-word-sale

Disclosure: I have no positions in any stocks mentioned, and no plans to initiate any positions within the next 72 hours.

Ron Johnson creates the post-apocalyptic JC Penney: "Where the living envy the dead".

Associates who still have jobs get fewer hours, no medical, and no retirement. Fired associates get severance, unemployment, and COBRA.

Ron Johnson is succeeding in re-imagining every aspect of JC Penney's business, the guiding principles that illuminate its path, and most importantly, the principle to be Fair and Square in everything it does.

What is truth? Ron Johnson will be in New York City at Sir Stage 37 on May 15, 2012 to give us the answer.

JC Penney's press release states that the event at Sir Stage 37 is to be the release of JC Penney's first quarter 2012 financial results.

If all Ron Johnson wants to do on May 15, 2012 is announce earnings, couldn't he get a hotel room and arrive for work at the JC Penney Home Office in Plano, Texas? It would be a significant cost savings.

But with the recent firing of so many store associates, what if a much bigger announcement is planned, perhaps involving underperforming real estate.

Jeff Bezos launched the Kindle at Sir Stage 37; can anybody imagine Ron Johnson eating crow in front of hundreds of cameras?

http://www.stage37events.com/portfolio/amazon-introduces-kindle-fire/gallery/corporate-events/

Disclosure: I have no positions in any stocks mentioned, but may initiate a long position in JCP over the next 72 hours.