Sun Devil

Why I Need a Government Bailout

I need a $2 million bailout "loan" so I can go to the tropics and get a good tan. Then I can apply for a "person of color" $10 million bailout "loan" as a stressed minority. I will need staff of course and plan to interview as many hotties as possible to see if they meet my qualifications. I want to give back to the community and they need my help and guidance. I will also go to as many courtside or luxury suite NBA and NFL games as I can manage from my busy schedule to schmooze with my homies on business deals and further stimulate my economy. I am not a greedy b*ast*rd like those who ask for a billion or more with no plans to redistribute the money back to the people.
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Send me the money!!!!!!!!!!