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Where's the Bottom?

Regardless of whether we're in a bear or bull, stick to high quality stocks that will be in vogue in good times or bad. Porno, liquor, cigarettes, psychiatric medicines and hospitals that specialize in alcohol, depression and rage counseling are all great investments and destined to surge for many years to come.

Can the U.S. Save the World? (House Testimony)

The US is fine. If you stick with good solid growth oriented stocks you'll be fine no matter what the market does. Buy US porno stocks for the cheap dollar lift and great porn actresses who foreigners love. Also alcohol stocks are good, and maybe some of the psych hospitals that specialize in alcohol, depression and rage counseling.

Google Unlikely to Renew Ad Deal With MySpace

GOOG doesn't need MySpace. Their porn search engines are going full tilt as people around the world seek the high quality American porn sites. The cheap dollar means you can get a couple of porn tapes and a fifth of Jim Beam for less than what it costs to take a family of four to McDonalds. GOOG rules that market.

Markets Dove and Didn't Recover

The markets will be fine. If you stick with good solid growth oriented stocks you'll be fine no matter what the market does. Buy US porno stocks for the cheap dollar lift and great porn actresses who foreigners love. Also alcohol stocks are good, and maybe some of the psych hospitals that specialize in alcohol, depression and rage counseling.

Census Bureau: U.S. Retail Sales Continue to Decline

US porno and liquor markets are experiencing tremendous growth, as are select psych hospitals specializing in alcohol, depression and rage counseling. Stick with the winners and you'll be fine.

S&P 500 Trend Lines: Between a Rock and a Hard Place

If you stick with good solid growth oriented stocks you'll be fine no matter what the market does. Buy US porno stocks for the cheap dollar lift and great porn actresses who foreigners love. Also alcohol stocks are good, and maybe some of the psych hospitals that specialize in alcohol, depression and rage counseling.

Is Sony Too Big to Be Fixed?

Sony failed when their Betamax platform failed to capture the US porno market. It has been downhill ever since. The best co's for porn now are GOOG (great search engine - pick your specialization) and MSFT (their media player does a good job of showing closeups of your favorite actresses). Stick to the winners and forget about the has-beens.

The Fed and the Interest Income Channel

Investors need to stick with high dividend growers in this market. That means US porno and alcohol stocks. That will make up the difference in lost interest income.

Wal-Mart Q1 Results: No Surprises

Walmart is yesterday's stock. The US economy is strong, vibrant and hitting on all cylinders. Americans want to spend their money on good alcohol and porn and we have the best in the world. Look forward at what will work in the future, and that is specialty stuff like transvestite porn and Jim Beam. Walmart is boring and Amazon doesn't sell porn.

Relative Strength: Sector Rotation in Motion

Great article. The US porn industry is also rocketing up the relative strength charts. US porn is the envy of the world and we are in the sweet spot with the cheap dollar and plenty of hot unemployed actresses just begging to work cheap. Add in some good alcohol stocks and you will have a strong portfolio.

Suburban Housing Markets Are Unsustainable (Part 2)

I don't think there has been a housing crisis but even if there were, our US porn industry is booming due to the cheap dollar and tens of thousands of unemployed hotties. US porn and liquor sales are through the roof and taking up the temporary slack that may show up occasionally in housing or the financial industry. Foreigners love our porn and alcohol and these will be the new IBD 100 favorites. If you stick to high relative strength specialty stocks like transvestite porn and Jim Beam, you will be fine.

Profit Taking or Something More?

You need to invest in industries with high relative strength, where the profit-taking rarely occurs, and then only for a few days. The US porn industry is a perfect example. We have a cheap dollar, some of the hottest women in the world, and cheap liquor. Foreigners love that combination and will keep bidding up the price of US porno and alcohol stocks to record highs.

Bernanke's First Bubble

The US is on the brink of experiencing a bubble in its porn industry. The cheap dollar has created a booming worldwide market for our hard working American porn actresses. This bubble will last for many years because we also sell lots of high quality liquor cheap, and foreigners can have a great night of porn and hard drinking for less than what they would pay for a meal for a family of 4 at McDonald's.

Thursday FX View: Traders Mull Green Shoots Without Any Roots

The roots are green like the USD. Our porn industry is booming worldwide due to the weak dollar and its high performance actresses - it is America's #1 growth industry. We also sell lots of cheap liquor worldwide, and that gives many foreigners plenty of good inexpensive entertainment.

Luxury Sector Leading Negative Outlook for U.S. Apparel

The falling dollar has been great for the American porn industry... it is booming worldwide. Porn doesn't rely on expensive luxury apparel, or any apparel for that reason, so margins are good. A quart of cheap bourbon and a couple of good porn tapes can be had for under $20 easily - a family of four can't even eat at McDonald's for that.