SEC (Cough) Accountability, by C. Cox

by: Greg Newton
David S. Products parses Tuesday night’s Damn, The Staff Are Probably Crooks statement by SEC chairman Christopher Cox.
  1. We bleeped up. And that was not a bleep.
  2. It wasn’t my fault.
  3. The stable door is now secure.
  4. The neighborhood wolves did, however, enjoy the horses.
  5. Just in case the wolves missed one, we are holding daily all-hands emergency meetings, as urgent as they are futile.
  6. The stable doors will remain bolted, despite the absence of horses.
  7. The innocent will be swiftly brought to justice (along the lines of our well thought-through and highly effective ad hoc short-selling bans).
  8. For further information, please see our helpful page on Ponzi schemes.