OK, so they didn’t mention the mosquitoes, the poison oak, or the guy snoring in the next tent on the website. But I’d rather put up with all of that than the absolute dearth of trading opportunities I faced on my return. The S&P 500, the Dow, NASDAQ, the euro, the Australian, New Zealand, and Canadian dollars, gold, copper, lumber, and anything else I like are overbought, bumping up against Fibonacci’s, moving averages, RSI’s, oscillators, and any other technical warning light you want to mention. Only wheat looks cheap, the greatest growing conditions in history knocking a bushel down to the low five dollar handle (click here for the argument at www.madhedgefundtrader.com/June_16__2009.html). Natural gas prices are low, not to be confused with cheap, with every uptick getting smashed with a new field discovery. Only a hurricane can save NG. It’s amazing how many people have turned bullish now that everything has gone up for two plus weeks. The only thing that makes sense here is to go short, but not on my first day back. Give me some time to gird my loins and build a risk appetite. And pass the calamine lotion, please.