The geniuses at the CDC have advised us that there is a possiblity that the swine flu will reocur in the United States. Ordinarily noone should take advice from a government agency but in a vain effort to help us survive this new clamity I am reissuing my advice from a few weeks ago.
In an effort to end this terrible flu outbreak everyone should do as I am, that is eating pigs as fast as I can. Myself, I have put several of these disease bearing porkers to rest. I have feasted on several of the pigs, four legged kind, and several Goldman Sackies, the two legged kind. Bacon for breakfast, ham sandwich for lunch, pork chops for dinner. You can make up your own menu, but its important to do your part to end this deadly scourge. Suck it up American and due your duty, gorge on these deadly enemies. Its for the good of the country.
As for the CDC, its too bad we can't eat them too.