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JC Penney Schadenfreude Sale

|Includes: AAPL, J.C. Penney Company Inc. (JCP)

The last paycheck arrives on Friday,
I'll be in New Orleans investing it.

Monday's the day,
I sign on the line
To receive my JC Penney Valentine,
Severance pay for all the good times.

And, with time served,
I'm a Gold Card Retiree!

Since flying to Plano
To take over JC Penney
On his Gulfstream/G5
Ron Johnson has proven to be
The ultimate Black Swan

He cut the dividend.
And JC Penney bonds
Are now officially JUNK

Now he's having five promotional "events":
Memorial Day; Back to School; Black Friday;
Christmas; Kwanza; and Chanukah.
Total: Six. Confused?
What are the customers thinking!

After months of educating JCP customers
That there is no such thing as a "sale",
RonJohn has thrown in the towel
And uttered the word: "See below"

If "sales" do fail
BlackSwan RonJohn
The "Genius" of retail
Has but two gimmicks left
Coupons and Chapter 11

JC Penney's Ron Johnson Capitulates, Uses Word "Sale"

Disclosure: I have no positions in any stocks mentioned, and no plans to initiate any positions within the next 72 hours.