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Humor-Wall Street lingo:2009 and beyond

beginning of month = rally
end of month = rally hard
Monday=OOOH what a rally
end of quarter = rallying too hard for words
California BK = fiscal rejiggering
Michigan next in line = never mentioned
CRE depression = REIT's explode higher
Housing summer sales edge higher = housing is rebounding(again)
GS front running trades = liquidity preservation
Banks own congress and the Fed = bank rally
consumer is insolvent = consumer is saving
mass layoffs = across the board earnings' improvement
earnings are not improving = earnings are beating street's expectations
STILL no jobs created= the consumer is temporarilly retrenching
wage deflation = bull rally
expiration of unemployment benefits = unemployment is abating OR contracting(either will do just fine)
Isn't our economy consumer based? = don't ask, don't tell
consumer IS 70% of economy = rebound will be business based
low interest rates = good for stocks
high interest rates = great for stocks
collapsing dollar = buy stocks
rising dollar based on fundamentals = not gonna happen
$10 frozen dinner = sure sign of recovery
CIT not yet BK = reason to be bullish
Bank failure Friday = stabilization
oil @ 50 = recovery is close
oil at $70 = recovery is incredibly close
oil at $90 = starting to recover
oil @ $110 = sign of increased consumer spending
oil @ $5 = boon for Joe Consumer
Gas @ $2 = tax break
gas @ $3 = mustard seeds for economic recovery
gas @ $4 = depression :)
Gas @ $1 = not in our lifetime
employment @ 10 % = better than expected
employment @ 11% = as expected
employment @ 12% = not unexpected
employment @ 13% = could have been expected
structural employment problems = employment is a bit behind schedule
real unemployment right now @ 17% = never discussed
real unemployment @ 22% = market could correct from here
stealing from our children = stimulus
stealing from our grandchildren = "cash for clunkers is a success"
stealing from our great grandchildren = "rebates for rabbitt ears is a huge success"
government buying people cars = economy showing signs of life
economy is already dead = S+P 1100, DOW 10.5k
bear market rally = NEW bull market rally
no basis for NEW bull market rally = dis-included in pumper's handbook

AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS(which probably will):

WWIII = tangible manufacturing green shoot

Disclosure: no positions