Please Note: Blog posts are not selected, edited or screened by Seeking Alpha editors.

Turf Battle At The UN

A turf battle appears to be taking shape at the UN as it appears the imminently qualified body is about to appoint a Minister Of Mother Earth.

This, of course, creates an eventual power clash with the office of Ambassador To Space Aliens.

The Ambassador To Space Aliens has been around for a long time, at least since last September. So, what happens when the new Minister For Mother Earth and the Ambassador For Space Aliens eventually butt heads?

What happens when the aliens finally arrive and they aren't all ET like and asking us for Skittles and want to hang out with little kids, not in a creepy Michael Jackson way, let's go Trick Or Treating together, you can be Batman and I'll be the Space Alien way? No, what if they're more of the Steven Hawking/Independence Day, die bitches die type of aliens?

So, along comes the evil Cyborg/Klingon invasion force and the Ambassador recommends that we, mankind, nuke the shit out of the alien spaceships as they enter our atmosphere. He knows that bad mojo is on the way because he's talked to them with hand gestures and tonal music from his Skype link and they just responded by taking an alien dump on a globe of the Earth.

The Ambassador, a wise man, because he is the third cousin of the current dictator from Zimbabwe, and it was Zimbabwe's turn to sit in the corner Office of Alien Ambassador, has decided that the Alien poo on the globe of Earth is not only a hostile sign toward Earthlings, it's also a sign of poor hygiene on the part of our new visitors.

But the Minister For Mother Earth says "OVER MY DEAD BODY". The Minister For Mother Earth will have none of it. He's like "sure we might kill these evil Earth crappers." But, what about the flowers and all of the hallucinogenic mushrooms that would be killed by the radiation?

The power struggle would go on and on and on as the villainous overlords from another galaxy board their landing craft.

Has anybody thought of this? Does Anyone care?

I, for one, think that this turf battle, should it come to the scenario described above, be settled the old fashioned way. We tie the left hand of the Ambassador To Space Aliens to the left hand of the Minister Of Mother Earth and throw them into a pit with two bullwhips and thousands of scorpions. Only in this reasonable setting can such high minded decisions be resolved.

Indeed, I believe that all UN squabbles be settled in such a manner.