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Oh, Come ON . . .

    I usually favor the writings of conspiracy theorists with a patronizing smirk. Conspiracies depend on secrecy, and secrets are hard to keep (especially juicy ones). There is an old proverb that "three men can keep a secret if two of them are dead".
    Further, one expects that those who have toiled up the ladders of achievement, to reach the various levers of power in our society, would have the intelligence, and acquired the experience, to know this – and thus avoid trying any such nonsense. 
    So please excuse me if I tend not to take the wild-eyed notions of my more excitable colleagues very seriously. 
    
   But every now and then, I have one of those embarrassing moments when the universe hands me a bit of data that tells me I am wrong about something. 
    In this case, I am referring to the chart pattern of the past 10 minutes of trading last Friday. Pick an index.  The phrase "classic hockey stick" comes to mind. And apparently not just my mind. "Seeking Alpha"'s news page made just that visual reference. 
    So, the Fed is throwing credit at a credit-saturated economy, corporate insiders are dumping their stock by the truckload, there is open question of a default by the US Treasury, retail exchange volume has vanished, the euro-zone is on the verge of fragmentation . . . and someone comes in, in the last 10 minutes, to buy up the main indexes to Just Above the previous close? Really? Really?? 

     To the Federal Reserve, and its buying proxies, I extend these questions: How Obvious do you think you can be? How Dumb do you think we are? And how long do you think you can keep this a 'secret'? 
   Advice to Chairman Bernanke, in particular:
  1) No less a light than Ron Paul (R-Texas) is now chairing the House subcommittee that oversees you. You are in for hearing after hearing. And any intransigence will just intensify scrutiny, and lead to acts of congress that strip you of your power. Think Nixon. 
   2) You are not 'James Bond'. You are a banker (and not a very good one). You have no talent for this sort of thing. And all of those around you, like all bankers, are by nature meticulous record keepers. The evidence to damn you is doubtless lying about all over the place. You cannot hope to conceal it all. There are entirely too many counterparties. 
   3) Resign. Now.  Seppuku optional. To borrow a line from "Heavy Metal", the best you can hope for now is that they agree to bury you in secret, so no one will desecrate your grave.