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Comic Relief: Tim 'Pinocchio' Geithner & The Heaviest Element Known to Science (Gv)

Every now and then we need a little comic relief from the news cycle of this mad, mad world.

I can always count on my favorite government official, Pinocchio, for an eminently laughable comment. If we are lucky, he will make a ludicrous statement on the world stage where we can actually see his nose grow while he is speaking; evidence the following...

SINGAPORE (Reuters) - U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner offered fresh reassurances to Asian nations that the Obama administration was committed to a strong dollar and to actions aimed at bolstering its value.

...The following major development from the world of science dovetails nicely with Pinocchio's behavior. Read, enjoy and have a good weekend...

Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science: (Gv)
Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 – 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

- Compliments of CIGA JB Slear