Friday, September 21, 2012
Day 1: The Apple Store
The iPhone 5: Day 1
"OH NO! I'LL NEVER GET AN IPHONE 5 WITH THESE LINES!"
September 21, 2012
News reports and images permeated the media this week, showing Apple customers queued up for at least four days in New York and a week early in London. What was the prize? The prize was to be one of the first to own an iPhone 5 on September 21, the first day.
Reports said that online orders sold out in an hour as delivery estimates were now revised.
Updated reports read: "October delivery ..." of the iPhone 5.
Apple iPhone fans were left wondering, "Should I try to get the new smartphone on the first day, or (sad face) just wait?"
So, I told myself, "I'll just check it out," and I signed up for a 15 minute session at the Apple store called the "Express" iPhone 5 workshop. That's perfect; at least I'll get to touch one.
So, I traversed Friday afternoon traffic, and soon arrived at my destination: the Topanga Apple store. I must have found the last remaining parking space as the entry sign changed to "Lot Full." I was doing my best Jason Alexander Frogger-like impression as I walked through the busy parking lot toward the mall door.
When I got to the store, I saw through the windows (copyright, trademark, patent pending, SEO) that it was crowded with Apple fans. This is the Great Recession? There is no recession at Apple.
Upon arrival at the line in front of the store, I saw six, yes, only six, iPhone fans in the line for new iPhones. I heard a manager say: "Where are the Academy seat-fillers, er, line-fillers, that we hired? This is unacceptable."
My first thought as a panicked iPhone fan: "Are you OUT of new iPhones?"
The blue shirt genius said something quick like, "No - I'll be here all weekend, and at least until 8pm tonight with new iPhones." Haha: see urban texting dictionary for multiple translations.
I thought: Meh..., (Boring - WSJ) maybe this iPhone 5 isn't that good after all if there are only six people in line.
Nah. Apple's iCloud ecosystem rocks.
So... I made a brief phone call to my personal budget puppet master, and decided to take my place among the "Droids" in line for the next fix of Ketracel-white. Hmmm, maybe that should be among the Drones, not Droids.
I returned to the line, and now there were 20+ people in line. Whew, I feel better now. That's more like it.
The line moved quickly. In less than 20 minutes, a new pleasant smiling face arrived in a blue shirt and asked: "May I help the next person in line?" That sounds familiar somehow. I'll have a white iPhone, to go, no a black 32 GB iPhone. Yeah, no... yes, I'd like a black one, with the large screen.
After returning from the timed vault full of gold and anodized aluminum in the back, still smiling, she handed me a shiny new iPhone 5.
All went smoothly, except: I know my family iTunes password because I buy things, but what was that new 23 character iCloud account password? I tried it four times . Darn it... That's not it. Oh, I got it now. Typo, typo... I need pointier fingers, with less skin gooo. I got it!
That was easy. How long did it take? After all that : I got it, in 26 minutes. Yeah, no, I made that number up. No, I didn't time it, but that's about right.
Now, did I backup all that stuff? Oh no, where's my old iPhone 4? OK. I got it.
No! Wait! Where are the "Laser keyboard and halographic images" that Fox 5 News in New York promised?
Oh well. It's an iPhone 5. Thanks for listening. I feel much better.
Then I gave it away to its real owner, but I'll get to keep paying for it for the next two years, just as if it were my very own iPhone 5.
Look in all my posts for music, video, and other related links.
*If you haven't seen it:
- Video: Apple store genius parody
- Video: A taller change than expected
- See the post in the Wall Street Journal, "Meh...," ( Boring) New iPhone 5 Announced.
- Video: Laser keyboard and halographic images
This post written, and "dictated" to Siri, entirely on an iPhone.
Disclosure: I am long AAPL. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it. I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article.