Before we get to the markets, Money McBags found a picture of the hottest female in the history of history and wanted to share it with his readers as a sign of his gratitude. This is the hottest female ever*, so you're welcome. Anyway, stocks are up today as macro data was more encouraging than a Stephen Hawking pinky raise or Anne Sullivan Macy. The ISM reported that manufacturing expanded at its fastest pace in 5 years to a whopping 59.6 (and if it had been 59.9 the market may have shot more loads than a Japanese bukakke film). Prices paid (cough, inflation, cough) drove the index higher while the unemployment gauge slipped once again. More importantly, first time jobless claims fell to 439k, while even more importantly, Audrina Patridge is hot. The Street is hoping that the 6k drop in first time unemployment claims will bode well for the Labor Department's unemployment report to be released tommorow on paper made from the tears of the homeless. However, providing the proverbial turd in the punchbowl, or the penis in the MFF scene, was a report released today by some firm called Challenger, Gray, and Christmas who bah humbugged on the labor market by reporting that job cuts accelerated in March. The outplacment firm announced that the pace of job cuts had increased 61% sequentially from February but optimists will point out that the job cuts were down 55% from March of last year. So hoo-fucking-ray. The economy is either better or worse depending on your comparison. It's like the old saying, in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king (though in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man better not develop macular degeneration because there sure as fuck won't be any ophthalmologists).
International markets are all a buzz today as Asia and Europe saw strong manufacturing reports which signal the recovery is coming. China's manufacturing expanded for a 13th consecutive month, Europe's manufacturing industry expanded at its fastest pace in three years, and somethng in Japan called the Tankan index of sentiment jumped from minus 25 to minus 14. April fucking fools!!!!!!! Oh wait, that data is actually real. Wow. The international markets may have found their Viagra or Peter Gowland's private photo collection.
In stock news, RIMM missed their earnings estimates by $.01 eps and their revenue estimates by 6%. So despite earning $1.27, showing better margins, and growing 18%, the stock is down 5%+. Money McBags is actually surprised it isn't down more because when a growth stock in a competitive market needs to make their numbers and whiffs, nothing good can happen. Goldman Sachs cut their rating on RIMM to sell and basically called them a has been in the handset market. Their products are less differentiated than a Dahm triplet and a whole lot less delicious. Money McBags puked out his RIMM shares because fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice and you can go fuck yourself.In small cap news... READ MORE...
Disclosure: Long MLNK