Rally!!!!!!!!!! With the war in Iraq over, manufacturing data around the world showing more buoyancy than Archimedes' "principle" in a bowl of jello, and warts finally shown to be unrelated to herpes (which means Paris Hilton now needs to look for two culprits as opposed to just one), the double dip has apparently been averted and the market should be back to 1,600 any day now. Whew. That was a close one but Money McBags is glad it is all over and he can get back to analyzing stocks that trade on fundamentals (not so fast DGIT, KITD, or WGO), using the tools he learned while getting his BA (though it clearly should have been a BS) in Economics and MBA in Finance to analyze quaint and outdated macroeconomic indicators, and guessing muffs to his hearts content. That is until Friday when we remember that no one is fucking employed and people are getting less employed by the day. But let's not dwell on that after this day of hope and enjoy the rally while it lasts, like finding an oasis in the Saharan desert or a nip slip in a Jessica Simpson red carpet appearance.
The big news today was that the ISM manufacturing report came in at 56.3, above last month's 55.5 and above analyst guesses of 52.8 and remember, anything above 50 signals expansion while anything numeric signals made-up. Manufacturing was driven by strong demand from overseas, a continued restocking of inventory, and Heidi Montag's massive need for collagen and botox. The other positive from the report was that managers' desire to increase jobs reached 60.4, the highest since December 1983 and that should bode well as long as desire is more than just an unrequited emotion. Unfortunately, it wasn't all lobster tails and taint tickles in the manufacturing report as new orders sunk to their lowest in over a year but why let forward looking data get in the way of a good rally?
In other US macro news there were mixed reports on the employment situation with some people thinking things look worse than Mayim Bialik on Blossom and others thinking things look worse than Mayim Bialik after Blossom (and you may have to adjust the brightness on your computer screen on that last one to either pitch black or off). ADP reported that 10k jobs were cut in the private sector last month which was much worse than the 13k gain analysts guessed but is consistent with the stumbling economy and analysts not quite figuring out how pluses and minuses work. ADP also revised the 42k job gains from last month to 37k saying they were just fucking around with people and didn't expect to be able to carry it this far. That said, outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas reported that job cut announcements fell by 17% from July to the lowest level since the year 2000 as companies only plan to send ~35k more people this month to the government payroll where they can soon be longterm unemployed and have their hopes and dreams for prosperity destroyed like Money McBags' belief in cougars. So more people lost their jobs than expected, fewer are expected to lose their jobs going forward (though there are obviously fewer jobs to lose), and according to the ISM, factory managers are looking to hire. Recession over (and yes that is sarcasm).
And it wasn't just the US that put up good manufacturing numbers today as China produced..READ MUCH MORE....ANALYSIS OF ISLE....
Disclosure: Long AAPL