The market closed down after being up most of the day as US retail sales were a bit better than guessed at by analysts thanks to bigger back to school discounts, some states offering tax-free holidays (or as they are more commonly known as: paycations), and consumers having more money after skimping on their water bills. Retail sales were up .3% from July and core retail sales which exclude autos, building materials, and hope were up .6%, doubling the .3% guessed at by analysts who once again prove to be as accurate as the contestants in the Alabama State Spelling Bee (where both buying a vowel and using the right letter in the wrong place are legal). Categories that showed the biggest increases included grocery stores (likely a result of extended unemployment benefits, higher food costs, and the fact that people need to fucking eat), gas stations (likely a result of higher oil prices), and the Ines Sainz fan club (likely the result of pure awesomeness). So if one were to believe the numbers, the economy is not quite dead and should continue to peter along indefinitely if the government can keep borrowing from China or making up the data (and Money McBags votes for making up data because he'd rather be lied to than fucked).
In the only other US economic news today, wholesale inventories rose at their fastest pace in two years thanks to retailers stocking up on items for the back to school shopping season and Vivid Video stocking up on the highly anticipated Karissa Shannon sex tape for the skipping school shopping season. Wholesale inventories rising should be good news for GDP in the short run, though if the consumer remains on life support and only breathing through the government supplied money tube, inventories may be building up too early.
Internationally, expectations for Germany's economy dropped dramatically as the ZEW economic-research institute reported that their economic expectations index for the country fell to -4.3 in September from 14 in August which is the lowest in over a year since the great maultaschen shortage of 2009. Economists' tarot cards predicted that the index would come in at 9, thereby proving that fortune tellers/economists suck at their jobs regardless of the language. Elsewhere Eurozone production was flat for the month (even with a rise in dutch ovens) while housing prices in Britain dropped more than some guy named Wayne Rooney's Q score after a saturday night on the town. Finally, Turkey's economy grew by 10% after pairing up with a nice gravy and side of cranberry sauce (and don't forget to tip your writer)
In the market, BBY jumped ~6% today after profits were up 61% as a result of better gross margins driven by mobile phone sales as customers rush to get....READ MORE...
Disclosure: Long CSCO