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Excerpt from psychologist Antoly Ulianov’s talk with Kabbalist Michael Laitman.

This topic brings me and my colleagues to a dead-end. We don’t know what to do with such ladies.   

M. Laitman: They must receive treatment.  You don’t need to explain to them that which they won’t understand – the fact is that these desires of theirs will not be satisfied.  And even if they did find such a man, they wouldn’t be any happier.  They only think that if they were to find a man according to the five criteria you just listed, they will be happy.  After all, a person must feel happy and fulfilled.  Money, beauty, a man, etc are all part of this.  But all these things don’t guarantee spiritual fulfillment which is what a woman needs most of all.

A woman does want a home, children, a man and the entire surrounding environment for herself. Inside, she wants to feel all these things belong to her. As a rule, such men do not provide this for their wives.  We know that they supply them with a house and hand over their checkbooks to them. They give this and want the women to just leave them alone.  In actuality, men live, not so much inside the family but on the outskirts. They are distanced from the family’s needs and joys.  This is why women need treatment and we must explain to them that what they want is not the means for fulfillment. 

You can see just how our society has distorted the idea of where happiness comes from and what determines it.  People are not stupid and women even less so.  But yet, with their intuition it seems that women are now confused.  All of a sudden, women have started seeking some “plastic”, something artificial to replace their real, earthly, natural sources of happiness which can fulfill a woman’s body and soul.     

The problem is our education.  Look at how we are educating young girls that when they turn 13 or 14 years old, they are already chasing old men with thick wallets.  Its a problem of education. 

And the ones who are 25-30 years old, continue to search for their other halves according to all those criteria – of course, it’s a pitiful situation.  You can see that it will be impossible for them to have a normal marriage.  That is why they must undergo some serious retraining.  It should be like a university course where they are very professionally and clearly explained   how a human is built, where fulfillment comes from and why we are built this way by nature. 

I think that a good, well-thought-out psychological course for beautiful, young women would make them truly happy.  Try to take this revolutionary step and put up an ad (of course, you must think through the content of the course): “We are launching a course and invite women looking for happiness in this, that or the other…”  They will come and then you can begin to explore this topic with them – what does happiness consist of from a scientific, physiological and psychological points of view.  I think that after such a course, they will change and come to understand they were wrong in the past. 

Kabblah student/BA in Kabbalah in the University of Tel Aviv/BA in Judaism in Bar Ilan University

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