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Your Child Has Learned To Lie? Here Are A Few Practical Suggestions.

Your child has grown up, and suddenly one day you ask him a question and he answers in an unexpected way. This is the moment that you discover that your sweetheart with blonde curls and angelic eyes has learned to lie. Why does this phenomenon occur? What is the difference between lying and imagination? Is it inherited or acquired, and in general- how can one prevent this phenomenon from reoccuring? Here are a few points that shed light on the subject, as well as tips and explanations for coping with the phenomenon.

The suggestions and explanations are taken from the world of the Wisdom of Kabbalah which deals with the connection between people and teaches us how to rise above phenomena that lead to a feeling of separation, which is created by the ego between us,  bringing us to a feeling of unity and mutual connection.

Is it a lie or imagination?

There is a difference between lying and imagination in children. Imagination is actually the child's desire for a situation that he would like to be in, that he is not in at present. This stems from children not clearly understanding the difference between  (what is) desired and  (what is) actual, and therefore often those situations and stories that the child speaks of are not lies but simply his world.

For example, children think that the dolls in the pram(carriage) or the small cars are in fact real. For them, the babies and large cars that they see in the street are a lie. Thus for them, changing from truth to a lie and from a lie to truth, is completely natural.Our task, as parents and teachers, is to help them build a world that is suitable for them, a  world that will gradually  develop from all these lies-the rag doll and the toy car- until they grow and replace the games with real things.

So what do we do?

Firstly, we need to understand that this is part of natural development. This is how nature organizes it, and we need to love them in spite of all their imaginings, until they overcome them. In fact, for children, everything around them is part of the world that has to suit them. So for them it is not a lie, but imagination, and this is the way they see it, so much so that they sense and live it. So they do not differentiate at all between the two.

Kabblah student/BA in Kabbalah in the University of Tel Aviv/BA in Judaism in Bar Ilan University


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